


Atlas

by AnxiousCupcake



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Anxiety, But only for some time, Oblivious Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Post-Episode: s03 Chat Blanc, Post-Episode: s03 Miracle Queen (The Battle of the Miraculous Part 2), You'll need some patience with Adrien in this one lol, but Adrien will find out first, doesn't take much to talk yourself out of a crush, in which marinette tries to do things alone, it hurts at first but things will get better, marinette decides to stop going to school, mental health, nathalie is not too bad, she's had it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiousCupcake/pseuds/AnxiousCupcake
Summary: Burdened with the memories of Chat Blanc, Adrien dating Kagami, Chat becoming distant, losing her allies’ identities to Hawkmoth, finding herself alone and on the receiving end of Lila’s schemes over and over again, fending off akumas that keep targeting her and now finally becoming the Guardian, Marinette is forced to take a step back to re-evaluate her feelings and prioritising some things in her life, and she finds her feelings for Adrien the easiest place to start.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 272
Kudos: 575





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Um hi, so this is my first time writing for MLB fandom so um I hope you like it. Also they’re all in their final year of school, simply because my heart hurt too much to think of a 14/15 year old being burdened by these many things. Also a little bit for plot convenience... It’s weird I know, but I couldn't help it…. Hope you guys like this, I tried my best so let me know what you think and don't hate me pls!!
> 
> I should warn you, that:  
> 1\. You'll need to be a little patient with Adrien on this one.  
> 2\. Marinette is (justifiably so) salty about a few things.  
> 3\. Everyone comes around eventually.  
> 4\. I like to get into characters' heads a little bit.  
> 5\. The underwater scene where Chat promises his support hasn't happened in this fic yet. Let's just say I'm saving it for a more wholesome occasion.  
> 6\. Also since they're older, we're gonna pretend that they got their miraculouses at the age of 15 and the events of S01, S02 and S03 are spread across two years. Pls indulge me hahaha

Marinette gazed out of the window, wishing the class would remain as empty and quiet as it was right now. Something about the empty classroom reminded her of the days _before_ she got her miraculous. When she used to get to class early, warm pastries ready to be handed out to her classmates and the only thing she would be dreading about the day would be Chloe. Right now, this was the only moment - here in the empty classroom, early in the morning - that she felt she could hold on to for some semblance of normalcy. 

As she felt a slow headache coming on, she knew her lack of sleep was catching up to her, and yes maybe she should've _just slept_ but ice cold blue eyes haunted her dreams and she always woke up with a sickly feeling in her stomach, trying to blink away the images of Chat Noir, no, Chat _Blanc_ , in a white suit and haunting blue eyes looking at her with contempt. 

_Our love did this._

She clenched her eyes shut, trying to breathe in and out, trying to block out the resounding question of what Chat could've possibly meant, because the questions that echoed in her head just by that alone was enough to make her spiral. She had to resign to telling herself that none of _that_ had really happened so there was no point in worrying about the eventualities of a timeline that did not exist anymore. Because she herself had personally made sure to erase it. All that mattered was that absolutely _no one_ find out her identity. _Especially_ not Adrien and Chat. That was all she could really gather from it all, and the thought made her sigh with frustration. 

_What had happened?_

It really was a vicious circle of thoughts. Shaking her head, she continued to gaze out the window, dimly aware of the chatter picking up in the classroom, but pointedly ignoring it all. Everyone had been on edge since last week when the identities of her allies became public knowledge. She wanted no part of that discussion because it made her anxious with guilt at the thought of having put them all in danger. It had been blatant that all of them were the same class and that in itself terrified her because how easy it would be to narrow it down to her. Shuddering at the thought, her attention was drawn back to the view outside the window where a familiar car had pulled up. 

She felt her chest tighten and she tore her gaze away immediately as she fumbled around for her sketchbook and pencil. She couldn't and _wouldn't_ daydream or even look at him that way anymore. It left her with a sinking feeling in her stomach, especially knowing he was dating Kagami. She inhaled deeply and set her pencil on the paper, willing for inspiration to come, when she felt someone slide into the seat next to her. Startled, she dropped her pencil and whipped her head around to meet the Alya's gaze. 

"You're here early," said Alya, warily.

"Couldn't sleep," Marinette murmured. 

Alya looked at Marinette carefully, making her fidget uneasily. "You look like you haven't slept in a while," she observed.

Marinette hummed nonchalantly, tearing her gaze away from Alya to stare at the nonsensical lines her pencil had made in her absent-mindedness. She felt Alya inhale deeply and Marinette braced herself, knowing that the fidgeting fingers she could see in Alya's lap were a sign that she wasn't going to like what Alya had to say. 

"Girl, you know I love you-"

_Oh, she was definitely not going to like this, was she?_

"-But I think you and I both know how you get when Adrien-"

_Adrien?? What?_

"-And another girl are involved, what with that whole thing with Lila happening, so I-"

At that, Marinette bristled, finally understanding what Alya was implying and let out a snort of laughter, abruptly cutting Alya off. " _Please._ He can date who he wants. Kagami is a good person and-"

"Lila is-"

Marinette continued on, not wanting to talk about Lila. She was not in the mood to argue with her bestfriend right now. "- _And_ if you must know, I... I helped Adrien with his first date with her, so... _There_. You don't have to worry about me "sabotaging" anything for your Sunshine Child."

"Marinette, that's not what I-"

Alya was cut off by the bell, and for once, Marinette was thankful as she saw Alya throw a final glance at her before walking back to her seat unsurely.

As class went on, Marinette found herself gazing out of the window again, a restless unease building up inside her. As the day went by, the classroom felt stifling as she heard Lila go on about how she was one of those who didn't receive a miraculous because she was Ladybug's bestfriend and therefore, Ladybug wanted her safe. Marinette glanced around the class and saw the seed of doubt in her classmates as they exchanged uneasy glances and that just made her feel worse. 

This was going to be a long day. Just like the ones the last week.

-o-

Patrol with Chat the next night was the same as it had been for some time now. Not much talking save for the greetings as they took their separate routes. Her eyes started to sting as she went over every interaction between the two of them this last month to see if she'd done something to upset him, _anything_ that would explain why he was being so distant with her. It even scared her a little bit as her mind started to fill the blanks between the facts she'd gotten from the alternate timeline to fit into what was happening in the present. Her breathing started to stutter and she found herself taking a pause on a rooftop, sinking to the floor to gather herself, eyes flitting about wildly for a purple butterfly. She was sick of those little bugs hounding her without ever allowing her to just completely _feel_ for once.

When she met Chat back at their rendezvous point, he was already waiting there, tapping his foot impatiently. "You're late."

"Sorry," she replied, trying to gauge his facial expressions but they were carefully blank, and that just wound her up even more.

"Any trouble?" he asked.

"No. None."

Chat nodded once, and the two of them stood in silence before Ladybug finally spoke. "Hey, Chat?"

"Yeah?"

_Did I do something? Are you mad at me? Are you okay?_

"Ladybug?"

"Sorry, nothing. Never mind," she said, smiling tightly at him. 

"Right, okay," he nodded. 

Once again, she felt a dull ache in her chest. She felt like she was being selfish, but Chat had never let things just go like that. She didn't have a right to his time, she supposed. She sighed internally, gazing at the nightscape of Paris, trying to remind herself what she was fighting for. Not that she forgot, but everyday, little things left her having to put things in perpective for herself. 

"Well, if that is all, I will take leave of you, Ladybug," said Chat, turning to her with a nod as he extended his baton.

"Of course, goodnight, _chaton_."

With a two-fingered salute, he disappeared into the night and Marinette decided to do a couple more rounds with the hope of tiring herself out enough to sleep. 

-o-

"I cannot believe them," she muttered through angry tears. "I absolutely cannot believe them."

Marinette clutched the bag against her shoulder tightly as she stiffly left the classroom and walked towards the bathroom briskly, in sheer disbelief at just how _blind_ everyone was being. Lila was right; people really did believe things they wanted to hear. By that logic of course, it hurt that they possibly wanted to believe the worst of her. The look of conflict on Alya's face was even more hurtful, because she was supposed to be her _best friend_ and yet... _And yet._ Then there was _Adrien_ , the wary, yet slightly reproachful look in his eyes almost as if he was reminding her of that "high road" he had asked her to take so long ago. She didn't think she'd ever been this mad at him. 

Well, she'd taken the high road alright. And she _hated_ it here.

_Lies don't hurt anyone._

She wished she could be irresponsible and just _lash out_ for once. She was Ladybug, so she could clean up her own mess later, right? But unfortunately her conscience had taken on the voice of Tikki that reminded her that not only was she Ladybug but she was the Guardian now. She had to have behave more responsibly than that. 

_I'm only seventeen_ , Marinette wanted to scream. _I want to be reckless._

She growled in frustration as she slammed the bathroom door behind her in anger, scowling at her own reflection when she caught sight of a purple butterfly fluttering through the window. For one maniacal moment, she considered just letting it akumatize her and just _be._ Maybe that'd teach them... Sighing to herself she shook off her thoughts and eyed the akuma wearily before bolting out of the bathroom. She knew it would be following her, so she slipped in the least busy corridor of her school, hoping to get shake off the akuma long enough so she could transform and purify it; it drove her crazy not knowing whether or not Hawkmoth could see through the damned butterfly. 

After a fifteen minute run, Marinette found herself on the roof of the school building, breathing heavily.

“Marinette!” squeaked Tikki, flying around Marinette’s head in agitation as the girl sank down to the floor taking deep breaths. “That’s the fourth akuma that’s come for you this week!”

“I’m sorry, Tikki,” sighed Marinette. “I’m trying, I swear. It’s just…” She trailed off with a shake of her head and Tikki nuzzled her chosen’s cheek to comfort. 

"I know, Marinette," Tikki said. "School's been particularly rough for you..."

She sighed, shaking her hair loose and running her fingers through her hair. "Yeah, you're right," she murmured. "School's... been particularly rough."

Adrien. Kagami. Lila. Alya. Her class. 

She had to put up with all of that at school. Of the four akumas that had come for her, three had been at school and one during patrol. 

_Huh._

She had something to discuss with her parents.

-o-

Her parents were lovely and supportive as usual. She'd been as forthcoming with them as she could. She told them about Lila and what she'd been doing. The way things had been tense in their class. She didn't tell them about Adrien of course, she knew her parents won't consider a crush a serious enough reason, and it probably wasn't either. Though she felt guilty for playing it that way, she brought up the fact that most of her class would now probably be on Hawkmoth's radar after the events of the last week and how she felt safer at home. That was probably the biggest lie she'd said but _anything_ to not have to keep going to school. She was genuinely getting tired of keeping the akumas at bay and worried about the day that she would finally give in to the petty feelings that occasionally took root in her. And if that didn't get their attention, the story of the three butterflies definitely did. Her mother was worried about it at first but she came around eventually because it was only for the final term and after that, university would provide a fresh start anyway. 

"And besides, if I'm homeschooled for the last term, I'll be able to spend more time on my designs and strengthen my portfolio for university," said Marinette, her eyes beginning to sting with the sheer relief of it all. She could tell that her parents were almost convinced. 

Her father engulfed her in a hug. "I'm glad you thought you could talk to us, honey."

She fought hard not to cry as she breathed in the comforting scent of her father, feeling like some of the weight had been shifted off her shoulder. Her mother kissed the crown of her head, smoothing her bangs as she wiped her tears. 

"What do you want to tell your classmates?" her mother asked uncertainly, looking at Tom before letting out a light chuckle.. "We should have our stories in place, don't you think?" 

"I'll think of something," Marinette sniffled, sensing that despite the humour in her voice, there was a hint of unease in her mother's voice. "I'll keep it simple, don't worry, Maman."

"Didn't one of your classmates get homeschooled until two years ago?" she asked suddenly. "Adrien, was it?"

"Yes," Marinette nodded.

Tom's face brightened. "Oh, maybe you could talk to him about the experience of it all, Marinette! Get a good idea of what to expect."

"Sure," she said smiling tightly. She wouldn't, of course. She knew all there was that needed to be known; it was pretty simple really. She wouldn't have to go to school and she could stay home and work on being Ladybug and the Guardian in peace with less chances of getting akumatized; that's all mattered right now. Maybe she could work on finding Hawkmoth so she could put an end to this and _finally_ allow herself a good cry, she thought, chuckling mirthlessly inside.

"Oh, I could talk to Nathalie, Tom," chimed in Sabine. "She's the boy's guardian, I believe, and drops by the cafe often. From what Marinette has told me about him, she manages his schedule."

"Yes, she does," she said again, trying to keep her tone neutral and not elaborating more than required. She supposed there was no harm in her parents talking to Nathalie. From what Adrien had told her, she was a very impersonal woman and would not really make a big deal out of it. Adrien probably would never find out. Not that it'd matter if he did of course, because her mind was made up on this matter. 

"Give us till the end of this week, Mari," said Tom, kissing her forehead. "We'll have everything in place."

That wasn't too long, she decided. It would be hard at first, but this was something that simply had to be done. It wasn't lost on her that one day she'd probably forget about all of this. She had another fitful sleep that night.

 _Next week would be infinitely better,_ she decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also (try to) make art! Follow me on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh I'm a bit shocked at the responses to this fic! I hope you continue to like it!! 
> 
> UGH I SHOULD'VE SPLIT THIS CHAPTER INTO TWO BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO CUT IT IN HALF 
> 
> I hope y'all don't get mad at me for this chapter; understand that I'm trying to get into the characters head because I'm a ho for self-introspection kind of thing, so some of this is NOT me blaming Marinette but rather how she's herself thinking and rationalizing the situation. Same with Adrien. It's more of a 'get into character shoes and think' kind of a thing. I like exploring motivations and things like that before getting into the thick of the plot. 
> 
> OH BEFORE YOU GO INTO THIS: To explain the Adrienette dynamic in this, they're friends. Not close friends necessarily, but not as distant on the show either; she can hold proper conversations with him and they've mostly hung out in Alya and Nino's presence. Personally I think the reveal would go side ways if they weren't already at least friends and were still stuck on the BlushingStammering!Marinette level of friendship, so... that's one of the reasons I've changed the dynamics a lil bit.

She felt like it was the end of an era as she carefully took down all things 'Adrien' in her room. _'De-Adrienifying',_ she called it. She rolled all the pictures up into one tight roll and hesitated briefly before dropping the roll in the trashcan. It felt very symbolic in her mind. 

"Are you sure about this, Marinette?" asked Tikki, hovering over her chosen's shoulder uncertainly. 

Marinette licked her lips and shut her eyes before taking a deep calming breath, and nodding resolutely. "Yes. I'm sure." She looked around her room and then at the pull-up board where there used to be Adrien's schedule. "I just don't have the time for it, Tikki. I can't afford to keep being heartbroken over him," she said, and chuckled hollowly. "Besides, maybe this is a good thing. I think you and I can both agree that my feelings for him brought out the worst in me. I've made some really bad decisions because of it..."

She sank in her chair, head thrown over the backrest as she stared at the ceiling while spinning on the chair.

"...I think that maybe part of the reason why it's easy for everyone to believe I'm just jealous. I guess it's a case of me making my bed and I guess I just have to lie in it," she sighed. 

Tikki looked like she disagreed as she floated down to perch on Marinette's shoulder and headbutted against her jaw gently. "Marinette, none of this is your fault..."

Marinette hummed. "Maybe not. But I gotta do what I gotta do to make things better for myself don't I? And if that means no more crushing on Adrien, then... no more crushing on Adrien," she said, shrugging. When she saw her kwami looking unconvinced, she hastily continued. "I'm not saying I'm over him already, just that I'm getting there and I need to work on it more. It was all fun and games when it was a schoolgirl crush when I was fourteen, but things are different now," she said resolutely. 

Over the years, though she'd learned to temper down on how her crush looked outwardly, her feelings for him had grown deeper as they became friends, even if it was just proximity vis-a-vis Alya and Nino's relationship. 

"What about Chat Noir?" asked Tikki slowly. 

Marinette flinched at the thought of him, feeling her chest tighten. She had always meant it when she said that if it wasn't for Adrien, she could easily see herself falling in love with Chat Noir. But once again, things were different now. Back then, she didn't have Chat's anguished voice amidst chaos, telling her that their love had done that. She didn't have her own name ringing in her head in his voice, said like it was both a prayer and a curse. " _No._ Any idea of talking to him about... _feelings..._ is out of the question. Absolutely not. He..." _Hates me now, for some reason._ "...said he has a girlfriend. And you remember what he said when he was... in white. This is for the best."

Memories of the white-suited hero with blazing blue eyes, the statue of her that had disintegrated underwater came surging through her head and she shook her head violently, trying to blank her mind.

"So does that mean you'll give Luka a chance?" asked Tikki curiously. 

Marinette blinked, turning to look at Tikki. "Luka?"

"Well, you did say that you had at least a small crush on him," began Tikki slowly. "And that the only reason you hadn't gone on more dates with him was because you felt it was unfair to him to be torn up in so many different directions. You won't have what-ifs going on in your head anymore."

"I don't know, Tikki..." Marinette stared at her interlocked, chewing on her lower lips unsurely. "I... Don't think I have the time for _boys_ in general. Those things don't seem to matter anymore, I'm the _Guardian_ now. Luka deserves better than someone who will keep disappearing without explanations. Better than someone who will just forget him one day," she finished, her voice small. 

"Oh, Marinette," said the kwami desperately, touching her cheek. "You can't put your life on hold because of this. This is not something you have to do alone," pleaded Tikki. 

"I know," said Marinette quietly. "I need to look for new allies first, but I don't even know where to start and-"

The kwami cut her off, flying to hover right in front of the girl's face and resting both her nubs on the tip her nose. "That's not what I meant. Not allies. Just... You need someone to support you through these things."

"I have _you_ ," she replied obstinately. 

Tikki looked at Marinette indignantly, because she knew things were never that simple. "Marinette, I love you. You have been given a responsibility, but you're only human. You can't just decide to change that. Humans need more than just a goal to keep them going. You need other things in your life, don't cut yourself off of everything. You have hopes and dreams of _your own;_ don't give up on them entirely. You need to live for yourself as well, superhero or not."

"I love you too, Tikki." Marinette sniffled, cupping her kwami gently in her hands to nuzzle her cheek against her. "But I think with everyone's identities compromised, I really do need to put everything on hold. At least, until Hawkmoth's not a threat anymore."

Tikki sighed sadly, but did not say anything as she planted a soft kiss on Marinette's cheek and flew away to her perch. Marinette knew Tikki did not entirely agree with this way of doing things, but she did not really know how else to approach it. She'd meant it about Luka; he did deserve someone better. She just had to focus on what needed to be done. Her priorities right now, were Hawkmoth, being the Guardian and applying for universities. If other things came her way, she'd take them in her stride but she had to remind herself that the situation was bigger than her right now, even if Tikki did not entirely agree.

Scanning the bare walls of her room one last time, Marinette climbed into her bed, feeling at least a little bit lighter. 'Next week' wasn't that far away. Tuesday was already coming to a close. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Three more days. She was yet to think of a good enough story for her classmates, but wondered if they'd even care given how things were right now. Under normal circumstances, she would have taken a cupcake for each of them as a 'parting gift' of sorts. Though she didn't think she would be able to bear it if she did take cupcakes but no one took and and glared at her in return. No, that would be shooting her own foot. Best avoid a circumstance like that altogether.

Then again, under normal circumstances, she wouldn't have even considered homeschooling because being in school was just becoming increasingly unbearable. All said and done, she did need a viable story to be able to tell Alya at least. She had time till Friday at least to concoct something reasonable.

-o-

Next day, Marinette still felt strangely energized. There was something to look forward to now and she was determined about so many things. She already had so many ideas on what to do with that space she had vacated on the wall as well as the pull-up board that had Adrien's schedule once. She was sure that the fact that it would not be visible to everyone could be put to good use. Through the first half of the day, she was mentally running through ideas for her portfolio and occasionally giving thought on ways to defeat Hawkmoth. So far, with the latter, she had decided, there were two ways to approach it, _broadly speaking_ \- track him down or lure him out.

She also sat in her seat with vigilance because the unease of Hawkmoth finding out the identities of her allies had still not entirely settled; he _had_ to be using that information somehow. She felt mildly guilty that if she left, her class would be even more exposed to any ensuing danger from him, but then again, removing herself from the entire situation might also end up making the class less of a target. Maybe she could even keep better watch from the outside.

_Oh, wow. Now, that's a thought._

She was interrupted from her musing when she was invited to join Alya, Nino and Adrien for lunch, which was a little bit of a surprise given how tense things were. Only with Alya though. Nino seemed strangely above all of this drama and said nothing, but she could tell he was _at least_ a little skeptical about Lila. It probably helped that they'd known each other since childhood. Adrien knew the truth too, of course. But their silent skepticism didn't really help the situation so she couldn't help but feel a mixture of irritation and gratitude towards both of them, because _at least_ they didn't believe Lila. She really didn't know how to feel about it.

As they settled in the cafe, Marinette turned out the din until Alya nudged Marinette in the ribs, startling her out of her thoughts. 

“Huh, what?” she asked, shaking her head and looking at her friends. Adrien looked really uncomfortable, and wasn’t meeting her eyes, piquing her curiosity as to what she’d missed. 

“I was asking if…” started Alya, exchaning a wary glance with Nino. 

“ _What_?”

“I was wondering if we should start inviting Lila to lunch with us,” said Alya, and Marinette pursed her lips tightly but before she could say anything, Alya added quickly, “It’s just Lila has been feeling down lately since she has no one to keep her company during lunch.

_Wow._

“Why’re you asking me?” replied Marinette tersely, because really, it wouldn’t matter what she said would it? She’d be written off again, so she really did not understand why Alya was asking because oh, _poor Lila_ eating lunch _alone,_ because Marinette hated her too much to care that she was lonely. She could see where this was going already, it was a set-up. Not by Alya of course, but definitely Lila. 

“Um, well, because of what happened the other day and I know you haven’t really apologized yet so things will be a bit tense-”

_Of course._

“Sure,” Marinette cut her off. “Don’t worry, Alya, I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour,” she said, tone sickly sweet and smile, plastic. She could see hestation in Alya’s face, the conflict in the way she worried her lower lip, and it was all the more maddening that she worried more about Lila being comfortable around her, and did not care about how Marinette would feel despite knowing how she felt about Lila. She was supposed to be her _best friend._

That brought a slight sting to her eyes and she looked down to stab at her food, utterly losing her appetite. She tried to focus on the gentle comforting pressure she felt against her thigh from Tikki, telling herself that none of this would matter soon. Soon, she’ll have other things to focus on. _The Bigger Picture_ \- University and Hawkmoth. That’s all mattered. 

“Are you sure?” asked Alya, nervously twiddling her fingers. 

Drawing in a shuddering breath and plastering a smile on her face, she turned to look at Alya fully. “Of course. Wouldn’t want _Lila_ to feel lonely or anything, would we?

“Marinette-”

Marinette cut her off. “ _I_ was thinking of getting some dessert. What about you guys?” she asked, turning to the boys.

She was tired of this, and did not want to hear Alya trying to pursuade her about Lila or even get into an argument right now. She had only a couple of days of school left anyway. She wanted the last few days to be as peaceful and conflict free as possible, though a small part of her just wanted to let loose and be chaotic _just because_ she was leaving and it wouldn’t matter in the long run.

Thankfully, the conversation drifted to other things afterwards and Marinette barely paid attention as bills were paid. As they started to walk back towards school, she felt someone grab her by the elbow and pull her back as Alya and Nino started walking ahead. 

Startled, she looked around and saw Adrien standing by her, looking at her with concern. “Are you alright?"

 _What a loaded question,_ she mused.

“Of course,” she said with a tight smile. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

The two of them had started walking a couple of feet behind Alya and Nino, and Marinette looked at Adrien curiously, wondering what the boy looked so torn up about. 

“It’s just… I wanted to check on you after… You know, that day, but you left school real quick,” he said apologetically. 

“I appreciate that, but don’t worry, Adrien, I’m fine."

“Marinette,” Adrien sighed, almost reproachfully. “I can tell you’re not. We may not be close, but I want you to know you can talk to me. If not me, you should talk to _someone_ instead of bottling things up and-”

“My _best friend_ does not believe me, Adrien,” said Marinette, bitterness seeping into her voice despite her best effort. “No one does.”

A beat of silence later, Adrien said quietly, “I do.”

Her eyes stung again, as she bit her lip, considering her words carefully. “Yeah, you do. And I’m thankful _someone_ does,” she said, before looking at him with a somewhat sad smile. “But that doesn’t really change the situation in anyway, does it? Doesn’t change that everyone in class thinks I have a vendetta of some sort against her. Don't get me wrong, I can't tell you how much it means to me that at least someone believes me, but...” she trailed way shrugging, the _What is the point?_ hanging in the air.

“Yeah, I know,” sighed Adrien. “And I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t want-”

“-Lila akumatized. Yes, I know,” said Marinette, before adding almost sarcastically. “Absolutely _cannot_ have that.”

“Right,” said Adrien uneasily, clearly seeing through her nonchalant facade. “She’ll get what’s coming to her. All her lies will unravel some day.”

Marinette chuckled mirthlessly. “Oh, definitely. Ladybug and Chat Noir better be ready for that day because it’s going to be an akuma fest when _that_ happens.”

Adrien frowned. “That’s not something to joke about, Marinette. Akumatization is-”

“Oh, I’m not joking, Adrien,” said Marinette. “I know akumatization isn’t anything to joke about. I’m completely serious, though. The day Lila’s lies unravel, we’re- Ladybug and Chat Noir will have a lot of work to do.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Adrien, all those promises she’s making to people? They _believe_ that. They all believe that a famous journalist will be able to get them an internship, that Jagged Stone will give their record a listen. They're all hopeful about it," said Marinette grimly. "The day her lies unravel, everyone's hopes will be crushed. And believe me, crushed hopes? The feelings coming from that can be... very intense."

"I... I never thought about it that way," said Adrien dolefully, looking conflicted.

Marinette shrugged as they made their way through the schoolgate and the two walked in silence as they headed up the steps, pausing briefly in front of the classroom. Adrien turned to Marinette, and after a moment of hesitation said, "I'm really sorry, Marinette, I wish... I wish I could do more but I-"

"Don't worry about it, Adrien," she said, patting his shoulder. "It doesn't matter anymore."

He looked perplexed. "Doesn't matter anymore? What do you mean?"

Marinette shook her head with a smile, they would find out on Friday anyway. She really did not want to cause a scene right now. "Nothing. Just that I now have bigger things to worry about, so don't feel guilty on my account, okay?"

 _Overcompensating as usual,_ she thought ruefully at herself, as she went into the classroom, followed by a troubled Adrien. 

-o-

The next day, Marinette politely nodded and smiled through lunch, pointedly ignoring the smug Lila kept shooting her way. She had other things on her mind anyway; it was Friday tomorrow and she still hadn't come up with a story. She also realized that Lila would be at lunch tomorrow with them and she was absolutely not having that conversation with her around; she could picture the crocodile tears and sniffling - _"Oh, Marinette, I'm so sorry, I hope you're not doing this because of me, I never meant to hurt you!"._ She could already see, and her nose scrunched up in annoyance. Maybe she should just text on their small group tomorrow evening and act like it was a spur of the moment decision, she thought wanly. That way she could probably even avoid the inevitable conversation and promises of meeting up often or whatever. But then again, maybe it won't be so bad to meet Alya and the others _outside_ the classroom and-

_No._

_Nope._

She was doing this so she could _focus. Focus_ on being Ladybug, the Guardian and-

She felt a nudge in her side and snapped out of her thoughts to see Alya staring at her with concern, mirroring the looks on everyone else's faces (except Lila, who looked bored) as they gazed at her. 

"M, are you okay?" asked Alya, brows furrowed, shooting a furtive glance at Lila. 

Internally, Marinette rolled her eyes. Maybe texting wasn't that bad an idea, she thought in annoyance before shaking her head and smiling at Alya. "Of course. I have a new commission, and you know how I get," she said, laughing nervously. 

Alya shook her head affectionately. "You need to learn to take a break, girl."

_So they keep telling me._

"Anyway, I was just asking if you wanted to get anything else or if we should pay the bill," continued Alya. 

"Oh, right. I'm good, thank you," said Marinette. "We should be heading to class anyway."

The walk back to school was relatively quiet, with Alya and Lila chatting away animatedly in the front while Adrien, Marinette and Nino trailed behind. Marinette did not notice the silent communication between Nino and Adrien, nor did she realize that Nino had started to walk ahead. When they reached the gate of the school, Marinette felt a firm hand on her shoulder and out of instinct, she gripped the hand firmly before ducking out of it's hold and spun around with her other hand fisted, a snarl on her face, ready to punch the snot out of-

A stunned and sheepish looking Adrien Agreste. 

She yelped and let go immediately, mumbling an apology, saying something about vigilance and habits. He looked at her with amusement, as he assured her that he was okay before they both chuckled sheepishly and started to walk again till Marinette remembered that he'd stopped her. Clearing her throat as they started to ascend the steps, she said, "So, um. What's up?"

He looked at her quizzically, an amused smile still on his face, making her a little nervous. "At the gate... You, uh, stopped me before I..."

The amusement on his face cleared quickly, as he nodded in understanding and reached into his bag to pull out three folders while she looked on curiously. Gripping them in both his hands, he turned to her, looking serious and a little hesitant. "Nathalie asked me to hand these over when I saw you at school today," he said. 

Marinette frowned in confusion, reaching over for the folders and opening the one on top to quickly scan through the pages. "Oh," she said, realization dawning on her. "Yeah, these will be a huge help," she murmured, flipping through another file. 

She didn't see him watching her with unease, shifting his weight from one foot to another as he waited for some sort of an explanation. When she was done scanning through the third file, she put the files in her bag before giving him a bright smile. "Thanks, Adrien!" 

As she turned on her heel and started to walk towards their class, he caught her hand and tugged insistently, making her look back questioningly. Her cheeks flared a little as he gaze flickered to where he was still holding her hand. 

"Marinette, what's going on?" he asked, loosening his grip on her hand but not entirely letting go. 

She registered his question, and then remembered the files before realizing what exactly he was asking. She let go of his hand, nervously tugging at her pig tails. "W-We should get to class," she muttered. 

"Marinette......" he said insistently, closing the gap between them so now they were both standing in the doorway of the school. 

Seeing the stubborn look in his eyes, Marinette sighed, running her fingers through her hair anxiously. "We'll... Can we talk after school?" she said at last.

Adrien nodded seriously. "I'll meet you out here after class."

" _No!_ " Marinette shook her head. "No. Please? Can we meet at the bakery? I don't want to... I don't want anyone to..." she trailed away agitatedly. 

Swallowing thickly, Adrien nodded once. "Okay. I'll see you after class. At your parents' bakery."

"Okay."

_Well. Guess texting them is out of the question._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think?? I'm sorry I know it's still "setting up" but we're getting into the thick of it, I promise. (Meanwhile, I'm struggling not to write a million other MLB fics, most of them angsty - and most ideas hurt marinette and it makes me sad to write but *squeals* the DRAMA....)
> 
> Also FYI, I kept what Lila had done the other day vague on purpose. The incident ITSELF isn't as important as the aftermath of it, so it felt like an unnecessary addition, so I just left it that way.
> 
> As for Alya and Nino's characterization, I am not a fan of when in fics, both of them are just BLATANTLY against Marinette and saying really mean and rude things to her. I think people forget sometimes that they're just conflicted teenagers... So in this fic, I'm writing my take on their characters - like Nino has known her forever so he knows better than to believe Lila over Marinette, but he's WAY too laid back imo, and probably even holding back a bit on Alya's account (they're kids so i'm sure 'team girlfriend or team friend' would be a feasible internal conflict, so choosing neither LOOKS like the better option (though it isn't) so that's what Nino's doing). As for Alya, she wants to believe the best of both of them - Lila and Marinette - so she's only taking things on face value and TRYING to do what SHE thinks should be done, without the crazy borderline insane hostility against Marinette that I've seen in some Alya Salt fics. I love Alya and feel like she's a complex character on her own. So yeah, hope that makes sense lol.
> 
> ALSO NEXT CHAPTER IS ADRIEN'S POV
> 
> I also (try to) make art! Follow me on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH my goD i wrote another big chapter, why am I like this. It wasn't supposed to be this long but I keep getting carried away smh

_“Don't get me wrong, I can't tell you how much it means to me that at least someone believes me, but...” What is the point?_

The words kept repeating themselves in his head on his way home. The way she’d said that, the sense of resignation in her words, left Adrien filled with unease. He had seen the way Marinette had seemed to withdraw into herself as she sat alone at the back, not making conversations anymore. He had seen the hostile way some of their classmates looked at her, and it made his gut churn. Even with Alya, he could see there was a wall; none of that usual enthusiasm and sunny smiles. Even during lunch, with just four of them, she seemed lost in thought, poking at her food, mind far away. And today, he had seen the fleeting shock, followed by hurt and then defeat, when Alya had asked about Lila joining them for lunch. 

He grimaced at the thought. It would be difficult to keep her at least 6 feet away from him if it was going to be routine for her to join them for lunch. He'd make sure to sit with Marinette, leaving Alya to sit with Lila, he decided resolutely. He wished there was something he could do to just keep Lila away from him, but knowing Lila that would mean a major confrontation which he was sure was not the way to go about it. Lies unravelled, and that was simply the truth. It would happen one day, and then everyone will know better. 

_"The day her lies unravel, everyone's hopes will be crushed. And believe me, crushed hopes? The feelings coming from that can be... very intense."_

He shifted with unease as he nodded at Nathalie in greeting and went up the stairs towards his room. Dropping the bag unceremoniously on the floor, he hopped straight into the shower, as he considered the implications of what she'd said. He could tell from her shifty demeanour that it was something she too was genuinely worried about, and it wasn't a misplaced worry. And the more he thought about it, the more he dreaded the day that would happen. Maybe he could admit to himself that he'd derive some for of petty satisfaction to her lies unravel but Marinette was right.

It wasn't going to be pretty when Alya found out that Ladybug was in fact, not Lila's best friend. Or when Max realized that Lila could not _possibly_ know Elon Musk, neither when Alix would realize that Lila's promise of a mentorship with Chloe Seyres would be impossible. And those were just things he'd heard in class. There was no telling what other things she'd said, and to how many. Part of him wondered if it would be easier to just confront Lila now, and take down her akumatized version; at least everyone would know. But then again, all the promises had already been made. Maybe it was too late to do anything now but to watch Lila like a ticking bomb. 

That thought didn't sit well with him though. 

Sighing, he stepped out of the shower, taking ten minutes to dress up and prepare for his piano lessons.

"What do I _do_ , Plagg?" asked a frustrated Adrien, throwing his hands up in frustration, two hours later, as he sat on top of the climbing wall in his room. 

Plagg floated up to his face lazily. "Take the high road, Adrien," he replied, blinking at him with big green eyes, the picture of innocence. "It was a great plan."

Adrien scowled. " _Plagg!_ " 

"What?" asked Plagg indignantly. "I told you back then it was a bad idea. That it's always better to nip things like that in the bud!" 

"That is _not_ what you said!" exclaimed Adrien, swatting at the cat kwami. "You wanted me to _cataclysm_ Lila!"

" _Yes_ ," said Plagg emphatically. "That's nipping it in the bud, kid."

"You're useless," Adrien groaned, running a hand down his face.

"I had _one_ advice, and you didn't take it," shrugged Plagg. "So I am allowed to be skeptical of how you'll take any of my other wise, five thousand year old wisdom."

Adrien tsked in irritation and proceeded to check the tightness of his harness before hopping off the wall and descending slowly to the floor. Just as his feet hit the ground, there was a knock on the door, followed by Nathalie's voice asking if she could come in. Ensuring that Plagg had zipped out of sight, Adrien hurried to the door to unlock it to reveal Nathalie standing at the door with a couple of familiar-looking files. His heart sank as his head shot up to look at Nathalie. 

"Are those-"

"Yes," Nathalie said abruptly, and sensing his growing agitation, she hastily added, "Don't worry, they're not for you."

Adrien frowned at that. "Then who-"

"Miss Dupain-Cheng is in your class, yes?" she said, interrupting him again as she started to hand over the files to Adrien. "

"Marinette goes to school. What does she have to do with this?" said Adrien slowly, making no move to take the files from her. "That's the homeschooling curriculum and contacts of my tutors."

Nathalie blinked at him, before understanding dawned on her face. Her look stoic expression softened as she drew the files back to her grip. "Monsieur Dupain called some days ago asking about some homeschooling information since we have experience handling the curriculum with you," she said slowly. "I said I'd send over all the information and files I had from the time you were homeschooled."

"But why would..." he trailed away with a shake of his head confused. 

"I think Miss Dupain-Cheng would be best suited to answer your question," she said, this time thrusting the files towards him gently, but firmly. 

He took them, muttering a small thanks to Nathalie, his head whirling with questions. 

-o-

Said questions had him restless throughout the next day, as he fidgeted to get to lunch break. Even at lunch break, he could really ask her because of Lila, and normally he would have caught her eye and made an indication that he wanted to talk, but she had a faraway look in her eyes. So he had to wait until the very last minute and he got the question out just as they were about to enter school. He found himself wishing he'd done it sooner because there was no time to actually have a conversation now and he knew inevitably that he'd have to spend the second half of the day as restlessly as the first half. 

_She probably needs it for someone she knows_ , he'd decided by the next morning. He almost convinced himself too, but the heaviness in his gut did not disappear. _Ugh._

And finally, _finally_ , he asked, squeezing her hand in what he hoped was an assuring manner. "Marinette, what's going on?"

She looked a little confused at first, cocking her head at him with question before her grip on the files tightened and she grew a little pale. Shifting her weight on her feet, she let go of his hand to tug at her pigtails, which he knew was her tell for nervousness. "W-We should get to class."

"Marinette......" he said insistently, closing the gap between them so now they were both standing in the doorway of the school, now even more uneasy. He got the feeling he wasn't going to like what she would say. 

Marinette sighed, running her fingers through her hair anxiously. "We'll... Can we talk after school?" she said at last.

Adrien nodded seriously. "I'll meet you out here after class."

" _No!_ " Marinette shook her head, confusing. "No. Please? Can we meet at the bakery? I don't want to... I don't want anyone to..." she trailed away agitatedly. _She doesn't want anyone to know,_ he realized. He also didn't miss the way way her eyes flickered over almost reflexively, very briefly, towards Lila who was just barely visible through the half open door of the classroom. 

"Okay," Adrien conceded. "I'll see you after class. At your parents' bakery."

"Okay."

He watched as Marinette kept her eyes down and walked quickly to her seat, avoiding everyone else. He looked away guiltily, as he took his seat, remembering Plagg's words about nipping things in the bud, and then his own - _Lies don't hurt._ He looked over his shoulder to see her slump into her seat, fingers drumming on the table, brows furrowed in concentration as she thought about something. He didn't turn around until Nino elbowed his side. 

"You okay, dude?"

Adrien hesitated, before shaking his head. "Just... Worried about Marinette."

Nino's eyes flicked over his own shoulder too look at the girl, before he turned back and took his cap off to run a hand through his unruly hair. "Yeah, me too," he admitted softly. "Doesn't seem like her self of late, does she? Alya told me she hasn't attended any of the class president meetings this week."

Adrien raised his brows. "That doesn't seem like her." He hesitated before adding, "I think the whole thing with Lila is taking a toll on her."

"Lila, yeah," Nino murmured. "I really don't know what to make of that girl. She's our age, and seems to know so many people. I mean, I'm not saying that's impossible, _you're_ famous and know a lot of people too, but with you... That shit makes sense, like you know people who are famous in fashion circles. And musicians and actors by default because they kinda have to dabble in fashion, because ya know, they have to. It makes sense. With Lila... I don't understand how she could possibly know journalists, movie stars and directors _and_ athletes..."

Nino paused, deliberating, as Adrien listened, feeling a little hopeful and a little excited. Maybe today would be the Day of the Unravelling.

"...How is that even possible for a seventeen year old? I mean, yeah, her mom's bigshot diplomat, so it would make sense if she knew _politicians_ or something. I don't know, the only profession I can think of to know people across various fields is being a journalist. But _even then_ there's things like beats? So, I just... Something isn't adding up," he finished. 

"Did you talk to Alya about this?" Adrien asked curiously, but he already knew the answer to that. ecause that line of questioning was very logical and not some big confrontational expose. And if Alya had had suspicions, she wouldn't have held back from making it an expose. Unless they made it out to be.

"No," Nino admitted. "I-"

"Hey, Marinette?"

He was interrupted by Lila's obnoxiously loud voice, and Adrien could already tell that the girl was upto something. Dreading what was to come, Adrien turned in his seat just in time to catch Marinette startled out of her thoughts, and blinking out of her thoughts to look at Lila. 

"Yes?" 

"I was just wondering if..." she trailed away as if a little unsure, before looking at Alya for support, who nodded in encouragement. _Oh no._ _Alya, what did you do?_ "I was just wondering if as the class president you have thought of any ideas for our field trip for this term?"

Adrien immediately understood where this was going. His hand gripped the desk tightly, eyes flickering to Marinette who also seemed to have understood. 

_Alya told me she hasn't attended any of the class president meetings this week._

"I-" started Marinette.

But Lila cut her off, as if hurriedly wanting to add something to rectify something. "I- I don't mean to pressure you or anything, it's just that Alya told me you haven't been to the class president meetings this week at all, and I realized that this is our last term together as a class, so I just wanted to remind you," she added sheepishly. 

Marinette sighed. "Look, I have to tell you guys something. Next week, I-"

" _Oh_ , it's completely okay if you don't have anything planned, Marinette," said Lila, looking around and noting with satisfaction that everyone was bristling and looking accusatorily at Marinette. 

"You don't have anything planned!?" Alix demanded abrasively. "This is our last year as a class, we voted you president for a reason!"

"Alix!" exclaimed Alya. "You know Marinette doesn't skimp out on things! She's just been-"

"Yes, come on, guys," said Lila placatingly. "Alya told me that Marinette's been really stressed and has been running herself into the ground with work lately," pausing for dramatic effect before turning to Marinette again. "I know you hate me, Marinette, but I have a great suggestion for the trip," she said with a hesitant smile. Adrien could see how Marinette had tensed and her face had become unreadable. "And since you haven't planned anything already, I was thinking maybe..." and made a show of looking around at everyone for assurance and _boy,_ _she's a good actress,_ thought Adrien. "...I- I could take over the role? Since you're so stressed? I-I just want to help."

There was absolute silence in class, and everyone waited with bated breath, eyeing Marinette warily, clearly expecting an outburst because the girl took her job as class president seriously (at least usually, it seemed). Adrien readied himself for another fight, having decided that maybe letting things lie ( _pun intended_ , he snorted to himself) anymore wasn't an option. He would defend her because he was tired of seeing her make herself small with defeat and resignation. He hated the distance she had put between them, even more than before. He was absolutely, positively ready to fly off his seat in Marinette's defense.

"Okay," came Marinette's reply and a big smile. A big smile he could see through, that didn't quite reach her eyes; he knew because the little wrinkles around her eyes she got when she smiled fully were absent. Her reply shocked him to the core, because he was so sure that Marinette would come up with something, anything, on the spot to placate everyone and call out Lila for the manipulation tactic she was so clearly using. 

Even Lila seemed shocked. "Okay?"

"Yeah," Marinette nodded. "I appreciate you looking out for me despite everything, Lila. Thank you. The role is yours. One less responsibility would be healthier for me."

_What?_

"What!?" Lila squeaked, and it was frankly the first time he'd seen the girl so dumbstruck. 

"See? Girl, I told you!" said Alya excitedly to Lila before turning to Marinette with a beam. 

Marinette gave her a tight smile. "Thanks, Alya. This was a good idea."

"But you love being class president!" burst out Adrien, looking at her incredulously. 

"It's okay, I know where my limits are. Alya and Lila are right, I'm running myself to the ground," shrugged Marinette, a little sadly. "Lila is friends with everyone, so I'm sure she's perfect for the job."

Before Adrien could argue, Marinette turned to Lila. "I have a binder on everyone in my locker. It has all the details and important phone numbers! I'll give it to you at the end of school."

"O-Okay," said Lila, a little disoriented, just as Miss Bustier entered the classroom. 

"Miss Bustier?" Marinette called. "Lila will be replacing as the class president. She would be a great fit, I think."

Miss Bustier's eyebrows raised. "That was fast, thank you, Marinette," she smiled, nodding at the girl. 

The class settled down and Adrien was fidgeting in his seat once class started, till Nino passed him a note. 

**_Dude, what did Miss Bustier mean that that was fast? What was that about?_ **

Adrien squirmed in his seat, before replying. **_No idea_** **, _bro_. **Although he did have a pretty good idea now, and he wasn't sure if he should tell Nino just yet. 

-o-

Adrien made sure to catch Marinette's eye as she rushed out of class at the end, to make sure they were still on for the meeting at the bakery. She threw a subtle nod his way and headed home, and after saying his byes to Nino and Alya, he lingered for a couple of seconds at the stairs before heading to the bakery, stomach a ball of nerves. Fifteen minutes later, he was seated in Marinette's room by her desk, taking a careful and hesitant bite of the croissant as he watched fidget across the room in another chair. She was looking everywhere but him, and he realized that he'd have to start the conversation.

"So..." 

"So..." she said nervously.

"Why'd you need those files?" he asked casually. "Someone you know considering homeschooling?"

"Kind of," Marinette replied, trailing away unsurely. 

Adrien stilled. So maybe it was someone else, afterall! 

Then she shook her head once, and with a determined nod took a deep breath before answering. "Me."

"You?" he asked, feeling his heart fall. 

"Yeah," she said more surely this time. "Me. Starting next week."

Adrien stared at her aghast, trying to get something out. But asking _why_ seemed stupid, because he thought he had a fair idea as to why. "Marinette, I... I... _Why?_ " He wanted to hit himself. 

"You know why," she said quietly, rubbing her forearms before looking away. The silence that followed had her looking back at him, and he looked at her with wide, pleading eyes, hoping she'd _tell_ him. He needed to hear it.

"I'm tired," she said at last. "I am tired of justifying myself. Tired of being on guard every single moment, tired of watching my words because who knows how Lila would twist them. I'm especially tired of my best friend looking at me like I would explode any second, and sitting in that class is _suffocating_ knowing everyone hates me, and _for what_? I've known half of them since we were _kids_ and I just- They just-" She drew in a shuddering breath, shaking her head.

"Maybe it's my own fault," she laughed mirthlessly. "Lila _told_ me she'd turn them against me if I called her out. She _warned_ me-"

"She _what_?!"

She gave him a watery smile. "I suppose my self-righteousness got in the way, truth must prevail, and all. And well, to be honest I didn't think it'd be that easy, but I guess people hear what they wanna hear," she shrugged. "As you said, the lies will unravel eventually. Guess I just won't be around for when that happens."

Adrien stared at her, before sweeping his feet on the floor to move the swivel chair he was sitting on towards her, stopping when he was right in front of her. "Marinette, _please_. There's gotta be another way. I'll help you, I swear. We're friends, right? I know what I said before, but I didn't know it was this bad," he plead, reaching for both her hands. "Please, just don't give up." _It isn't like you. I want to help, please let me._

He watched as Marinette stared at their hands in her lap, and her cheeks reddened just a little bit before she finally looked up and gave him a heart-breaking smile. "You're a great friend, Adrien..."

He knew there was _but..._

"But it isn't just Lila," she said, as if to reassure him, but that only increased his worry. "There's so many things going on my plate right now. And I just..." she drew in a shuddering breath. "...Want to focus on the bigger picture now. University and... Other stuff."

"Other stuff?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," she said, and before he could ask any further, she added, with a laugh, as if she were in on some joke he wasn't. "Besides, there's only so many times I can run from an akuma!"

He gaped at her in shock, realizing that she'd said as a joke to lighten the mood but she was also not lying. She too seemed to realize that it was probably not something to joke about. 

"You were..."

" _No_!" she said hastily, plucking her hands out of his grasp and shaking her head vehemently, hands flailing. "I wasn't. I got away. Those butterflies are so damn pesky," she laughed nervously. 

"Don't they need to be purified?" he asked, noting the way she'd gotten tense and how her eyes kept flitting over the top of her bed. 

"Yeah, good thing I caught Ladybug just in time."

" _Ladybug_!?" asked Adrien incredulously. "She was there?"

" _No, no_ ," she said, denying it vehemently. "I caught the butterflies in my water bottle and handed them to Ladybug to purify during her nightly patrol."

"Oh," he conceded at last, albeit reluctantly. "I suppose that makes sense." 

His phone buzzed, announcing the arrival of his driver. He sighed and pocketing it, before standing up and looking at her. "But Marinette, I can't believe you almost got akumatized. You should've talked to someone about it!" he chided,

Marinette only smiled at him, standing up as well. "Maybe next time."

" _Next_ time!?"

"Sorry, sorry, I was kidding," she chuckled, before sobering a little. "Don't tell anyone about it, please? _Any_ of it."

He was quiet for a second. "Were you planning on telling anyone you were leaving school? Or were you just gonna... Disappear?" He tried not to sound accusatory.

"I... I wanted to tell you guys," she said. "Tomorrow."

" _Tomorrow_? On your last day?" 

"Yes," she said, offering no explanation to her decision. "I'll tell Alya and Nino. Somehow. I thought..."

"You could tell them during lunch," he suggested.

"Lila's going to be there," she grimaced.

Adrien looked at her resolutely. "I'll think of something."

"Thanks, Adrien," she said, smiling at him warmly as he picked up his bag. 

They walked down the stairs to the attic and to the main door in silence, pausing for a moment at the door of the bakery. He turned around and pulled Marinette into a hug, embracing her tightly; she was tense for a second before hugging him back tightly, her head tucked into his neck. He realized he had never hugged her before, and boy had he missed out. 

"Don't be a stranger, Marinette," he said quietly. 

"I'll try," she said. 

Squeezing her tightly once more, he withdrew to see her face flushed and was terribly tempted to plant a kiss on her cheek. 

"Bye, Marinette," he said. "I'll see you around."

"Goodbye, Adrien," she said, and he hated the tone of finality in it. He made a decision then and there that he would try his best to stay in touch with her and keep up their friendship. She was his first friend after all. 

He walked to the car and waved goodbye again, as he drove away. He looked at the rearview mirror and as he watched her walk back inside, his words echoed in his head as if they were mocking him. 

_The lies aren't hurting anyone_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeesh that was kinda corny wasn't it. 
> 
> I JUST WANTED TO DEPICT THAT HER FRIENDS CARE, OK? a little misguided, but they DO care. i just wanted to show that and clarify that with this chapter. i also wanted to give y'all a little insight into adrien's mind... I think I'm a little touchy about this because my dad's like that. Very non confrontational. Very "if you know the truth don't bother, it doesn't hurt anyone else as long as you know the truth". He encouraged that. Even when i got into huge fights with my mother while she lashed out at me, his advice was to stay quiet. And now I have anxiety hahahah
> 
> I also (try to) make art! Follow me on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok before we get into this, I see some mad at Marinette, and... come on guys, have you not been teenagers with obsessive crushes? Besides, I have been seeing this weird discourse on Tumblr where people seem to think that Marinette's crush is obsessive so she got what's coming to her and um... *EYES EMOJI* Chat's crush on LB isn't any less 'problematic' if you look at it that way, but that's discourse for another time? Also her having a crush doesn't change the fact that she is, in fact, a victim of bullying. I don't wanna see the "she only has herself to blame" because wow, that's so mean and victim-blaming and just... no.
> 
> They're all just kids trying to do their best in their own misguided way of going about things the way I see it...
> 
> I love both them flawed children.
> 
> OH GOD THIS CHAPTER RAN OUT OF HAND AGAIN.

Adrien wasn’t one to wallow in misery, but he couldn’t help it. He still couldn’t quite wrap his head around the fact that she was leaving school. And everything he had just heard from her was only making him upset but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wished he had known; he couldn’t help a little bit of anger at Marinette for _not telling_ him. He would have done something, _anything_ , to make her feel less alone; like she had to do this alone when he’d _told_ her he’d have her back. 

_Marinette is leaving_ , was all he could think about on his way home.

His very first friend. He could already feel the absence of her sunny disposition, which had only been dimming as of late and damn it, he wished he’d noticed sooner. To be fair, he _had_ noticed, but he had wanted to give her some space and not overcrowd her. 

And as if that wasn’t enough to process, it was also patrol night. Groaning, he flopped down onto his bed to stare at the ceiling, eyes drifting towards the clock, noting with relief he still had a couple more hours to go. 

_Might as well finish up some homework._

Adrien had started to dread patrol nights. They were emotionally taxing with all the restraint he had to exercise, having to think re-think every choice of words to make sure that there wasn’t any flirtatious undertones to them. He owed that much at least, to Kagami. Granted they had gone on only one other date after that disastrous date that ended with them _not_ kissing; rather, ended with him backing away sheepishly. He was thankful that she was gracious enough to not have reacted with more than a light admonishment of him needing to get his shit together, and he had promised he would. And after the follow-up _super_ awkward date three days ago? _E_ _specially_ after that. That had been something and he hadn't breathed until the end, the tension and awkwardness so thick. She wasn't happy with his being distracted, and he could tell from the way her brows were set in a practically permanent frown. It only made him want the date to be over faster. He _knew_ she deserved better than that, but he _had_ to try _. Maybe_ if he tried hard enough they'd reach a level of comfort and the dates wouldn't feel like such a chore. 

That small experience, brief as it had been, had been disappointing and so he knew he had to keep telling himself that Ladybug would not ever see him as a romantic interest. Only by reiterating that could he get rid of the feeling of being disloyal. The guilt of not being fully invested might take some time to get rid of though, but he was determined to try. Kagami was right in saying that he had to switch targets, but he could only successfully do that wholeheartedly if he was completely over Ladybug. 

And he was _trying_. 

He had limited his flirting with great restraint and he tried to keep things as professional as he possibly could, but it was so _hard_ because he could tell something was wrong in the way she seemed so distant, and a little on edge, hunched over her shoulders whenever she waited at the Eiffel tower. 

But he had _promised_ to himself that he’d respect her boundaries. 

“Plagg, claws out,” he sighed, when the time came, readying himself mentally. 

-o-

When he arrived at the Eiffel Tower, his heart lurched at the sight of her. She was sitting with her knees to her chest, chin tucked in the valley of her knees, eyes glazed over as she stared into the distance while she absent-mindedly thumbed over her earrings. She must be really out of it if she hadn’t noticed him land. 

He stood there for a few minutes, nervously contemplating his next move. He knew he should ask her if something was wrong, god knows he wanted to. But he had held back with Marinette and that had not gotten him anywhere. _But this was Ladybug_. Before a groan of frustration left his mouth, he heard Ladybug sniffle softly and froze.

“Ladybug?” he asked softly. 

She startled violently, jumping to her feet and with a shake of her head turned around on her heels and _beamed_ at him. The smile was so fake that it hurt him; he could see her watery eyes. He stepped towards her unsurely. 

“You’re here early, Chat!” she said, in a cheery, obscenely loud voice. 

“Uh, actually, I’m right on time,” he said cautiously, prompting her to flip open her yoyo and gasp in shock. 

“ _Wow_ , time flies, huh?” 

Chat cringed internally at how _plastic_ her behaviour was. He could see that the tip of her nose was red and that she looked a little pale, something silver shining of her cheeks. He realized with a jolt that she'd been crying. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but in that second of hesitation and silence, Ladybug cleared her throat, and looked away, nervously tugging at her pigtails.

“So, shall we patrol?” she asked.

He sighed internally. “Of course. I’ll take Western bloc today.”

Ladybug nodded. “Notre Dame in an hour?”

“Notre Dame in an hour,” he agreed, before turning around and taking off. 

-o-

An hour later, he was waiting at the Notre Dame and was surprised to find that Ladybug was ten minutes late. Fifteen minutes of waiting later, he was just about to call her when she landed on the top inelegantly, stumbling a little bit. His heart sank when he noticed her bloodshot eyes and it was clear that she’d cried during patrol. 

“Ladybug?” he asked. “Everything okay?”

“Sorry, I’m late, Chat,” she said, smiling tightly. “Everything’s fine. Didn’t run into any trouble. I’m late because… Um, someone uh, needed help getting home? Yeah. Someone needed help getting home. Sorry.”

 _That… Was not what I meant,_ was his first thought. The second one was how she was a terrible liar. 

“It’s getting late,” she sighed, rubbing her forearms. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

“It was only fifteen minutes, Ladybug,” he said, keeping his tone casual hoping to put her at ease at least a little bit. 

“Still,” she said. “I’m sure you have better things to do.”

He frowned in response to that, wanting to immediately contradict her if only because not only was she _wrong_ in that assumption, but she also just sounded so _sad._ With that, she dropped down to seat on the ledge of the cathedral, legs hanging off the beam. 

“Are you… not going home?” he asked hesitantly. 

“Not yet,” she said. “The weather agrees with me tonight.”

“Oh,” he said, unsure of what else to say, shifting his weight between his feet uneasily. Why did things feel so _awkward_? He wasn’t sure how things had become like this but they had despite his best attempts to keep things casual and professional between them and now he had no idea what to do. 

She looked over her shoulder with a small smile that did not quite reach her eyes. “You don’t have to wait till I leave, Chat. You can go home if you like,” she said quietly.

He sighed internally, looking back at Ladybug who had yet to look away from him. The silence was suffocating and left Chat feeling frustrated and uneasy as he wondered once again how they'd gotten here. He couldn't remember the last time he had shared a joke with Ladybug. He couldn't remember the last time she'd smacked him playfully or even laughed reluctantly at his puns. Not that he'd been making any as of late. Not since Miracle Queen. He realised they hadn't talked about that yet, it'd been almost two weeks since then. He remembered with a jolt that they had no allies at this moment. His eyes flickered to hers, and she was still looking at him curiously and he wondered if all the pressure that she clearly seemed to be carrying on her shoulders was from being the new Guardian. They hadn't really talked about that either. 

"Chat?" she called softly, interrupting his train of thought from entering the Guilt Station. 

She had her head tilted and was looking at him with curiousity, a small smile and a bit of... hope?

He cleared his throat and nodded. "Oh, uh, sorry. Lost in thought, so much to do," he rambled. "If that is all, good night, Ladybug," he said, trying to grin away his worry and giving her a two fingered salute. 

He knew he'd said the wrong thing, when her smile tightened around the corners and she turned away to look out at the city again. He was confused; did she want him to stay? He wanted to. He wanted to know what was up with her, but _he was trying to keep his distance_. He hated feeling this conflicted, like he couldn't do anything to help hurting his friend, and he wanted to blame his homeschooling years for this, because he was _still_ unable to pick up social cues as adeptly as he could. He had failed Marinette _and_ he was failing his lady, he though miserably. How could one be friendly with someone they were in love with without making them uncomfortable while trying to move on from them!? Oh, he could feel the beginning of a headache coming on.

"Good night, Chat Noir," she said, she sighed.

"Good night, Ladybug," he replied, taking a step back and leaving with one final dejected glance at her slumped form.

-o-

He was not looking forward to today. He had had a sleepless night of tossing and turning as he tried to reach a more optimum solution to his relationship with Ladybug. It was clear from last night that his goal of wanting to be friends was not working out because _friends_ weren't that awkward with each other. Added to that, _today_ was Marinette's last day at school, and he'd promised her help with telling Alya and Nino; he already had a feeling it wouldn't be very pretty. As he stood in the shower, he was wondering how he could get the four of them away from the watchful, ever-present, ever- _clingy_ Lila. 

He'd have to be at least half truthful, but he also did not want to encroach on any information Marinette may or may not want to share. His head was in the clouds as he came up with a half-baked plan, which he was sure was not very good but it was all he haid and well, planning was really not his forte. 

Thankfully, when he arrived at school, Alya and Nino were already waiting at the gates and he knew he could count on Marinette being late. Waving at them, Adrien hurried to the duo and lowered his voice.

"I have reservations for four people at the new restaurant that opened on the 23rd. My chef is friends with the chef at the restaurant and wants me to try it out," he said as non-chalantly as possible. 

Nino whistled. "I'm in!"

Alya however, frowned. "Four? But Lila-"

"I'm sure Lila can find someone else to have lunch with for _one_ afternoon," said Adrien, trying not to let his irritation creep into his voice. 

He just couldn't understand why Alya was so invested in friendship with Lila. He couldn't help but wonder if Alya had even noticed that something was up with Marinette, and that just irritated him all the more. He held back a snort of exasperation when Alya started arguing about how Lila needed company and hated eating lunch alone, before Adrien interrupted her.

" _Fine_ ," he said abruptly. "If you must know, I asked my chef to set this up _on purpose_ because I don't know if you have noticed, but Mari's been down lately, and I just wanted to make sure she's okay and ask her if something's wrong. And I _know_ she won't say anything if Lila's around."

Alya's frown deepened, and she looked at him skeptically. "Adrien, give her some time," she said, almost knowingly. "She'll be just fine. I know what she's been upset about, and it's only a matter of time and she'll be fine."

Adrien gave in and snorted in irritation, looking at her incredulously, which only served to have Alya scowl at him. "I also don't think you should encourage whatever she's got against Lila. It's been getting better over the last few days you know, they've been getting friendly with the class president thing and-"

"That's only happening because she cares about _you_!" said Adrien exasperatedly. _And because she's leaving._ He was getting really annoyed now, and all of this over a simple lunch because he wanted to help a friend who had some important news to tell them. And while Alya's stubbornness was mostly amusing it was getting difficult to keep his composure, when he really just wanted to blurt out _One of our closest friends wants to tell us that it's her last day of school, and she's leaving because of this exact nonsense and you're making it harder than it has to be._

"Adrien, I don't know what Marinette said but-" started Alya, almost a little sadly, but Adrien was not having it. He could see it now, why Marinette wanted to leave. He wished he had seen it sooner, so she hadn't had to deal with all this skepticism alone. Well, he would be there for her _now,_ as much as he could. 

"Marinette told me is that she doesn't feel comfortable around someone, and I'm just being respectful of that as a friend should be," he said pointedly, watching Alya's face fall and looking away uneasily. "I know you have her best interest at heart, but I don't feel very good about steamrolling Marinette has to say about it. Marinette is my friend and if she says she dislikes someone, that's fine with me. I'll respect that, even if I may disagree, which to be honest, I _don't._ I don't like Lila either. She's too clingy and doesn't stop touching me even when I ask her to, so I'm not even complaining that Marinette would rather not have her around because neither would I."

"Dude..." started Nino slowly.

"Adrien, what are you talking about?" asked Alya slowly. "Why didn't you tell us sooner that you... that you don't like having her around for lunch? That she makes you uncomfortable?"

"I..." Well, he'd come this far, might as well see this conversation through. "I saw how it didn't matter with Marinette, and she's your bestfriend, so I just..." he shrugged, letting the implication hang in the air. He winced at what his words insinuated, but he wasn't really lying. If Alya would not take her own best friend seriously, he genuinely believed what he said wouldn't be of importance either. He hadn't meant to make it sound that way, but he wasn't ready to take it back either; especially because he actually meant what he said.

Alya withdrew into herself for a few uneasy seconds, clearly debating something with herself and Nino was looking at Adrien with narrowed eyes, clearly aware that _something_ was up. He shook his head a little, followed by a nod - _Later._ Nino quirked his brow before conceding and turning to Alya who still looking a little troubled, and Adrien was starting to feel a little sweaty at the awkward silence - _ha, second one, two days in a row, great going! -_ Nino finally broke the silence. 

"Look, Als if you're feeling _that_ guilty about leaving Lila alone for lunch, I'm sure you could talk to one of the other girls. They'll gladly offer her some company. She's friends with everyone, isn't she?" 

Alya sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, I could do that."

Adrien had never been this thankful to hear the final bell announcing the beginning of class, as the three of them hurried into the class, the slow-building tension forgotten.

Marinette rushed into class, late by five minutes, but got away with a mere reproachful smile. He knew that Miss Bustier was going easy on her because it was her last day of school. He could hear Alya whisper a _You okay, girl?_ to Marinette who replied with a small grunt - _Fine. Didn't get any sleep._

He sank into his seat a little bit, already apprehensive about lunch. Alya's soft voice whispering _"Girl, have you been crying?"_ and Marinette's silence in response to that question did not make him feel any better. He was trying not to eavesdrop and was saved by the sharp pain in his ribs, and turned to glare at Nino to see that he was holding a note to him. 

**_Do you know something I don't?_ **

Adrien sighed internally. Nino was too adept at reading him. Adrien threw a nervous glance over his shoulder at Marinette before looking at Nino again with the corners of his lips downturned. 

_**I think it's best we wait till lunch.** _

Nino frowned at the note. _**It's about Nette isn't it?**_

Adrien merely underlined the word ' _lunch'_ again. 

_**Is this an intervention? Is that why you didn't want Lila around?** _

Adrien scowled at Nino, underlining the word lunch thrice and circling it before shoving it at him. Nino wrinkled his nose but gave up, and started tapping his foot against the floor - his nervous tell. Adrien felt only a little guilty. 

-o-

Lunch hour was here. Adrien saw Alya walk over to Lila, and Marinette standing in the doorway uneasily, waiting as she shifted her weight between her feet, looking warily at Lila. He realized with a jolt that he hadn't really told Marinette his "plan" yet. He looked at Nino, about to say something, only to find that he was looking at him with amusement. With a shake of his head and a roll of his eyes, he gestured at Marinette and made a _shoo_ ing motion. " _Go!_ Alya and I will join you guys in a bit. I'll tell her you left early to make the reservation." He looked in the direction where Alya and Lila were having a conversation and looked back at Adrien with a grimace. "That looks like it's going to take a while anyway."

Nodding, he walked briskly towards the door, and without stopping, looped his hand around Marinette's and started to walk towards the exit, startling her. "Adrien, what are you-"

"Just trust me," he said, and she nodded, and the two of them walked briskly till they reached the gate. She started to turn towards their usual cafe, but he tugged at her arm gently. "We're going to the 23rd today."

"We are?" she asked, confused. 

"Yeah," he nodded, as their walk slowed down to a normal pace. "I promised you I'd help with getting Lila kicked off our lunch plans, didn't I?"

She stared at him in wonder. "Really?"

It hurt just a little bit that she hadn't really believed him, but he chose not to comment on that. Instead, he unlooped his arm from arounds hers to take her hand and squeeze gently. "Of course."

She beamed at him. "Thank you, Adrien."

"Anytime." And he meant it. 

They walked with lightly intertwined hands, and if Adrien observed that her hands were soft but slightly calloused, he didn't mention it. Nor did he dwell on how small her hand felt in his. He definitely did not dwell on the fact that she didn't question him when he slid in _next_ to her in the booth reserved for them at the restaurant as opposed to sitting across her as usual. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, before adding sheepishly, "I overheard you telling Alya that you didn't sleep last night."

"It's the nerves," she said, laughing nervously. _Plastic_ , he thought. Well, he wasn't able to help his lady but maybe he could help Marinette, right? _Right_ _?_ She was a good friend and he did not have to worry about keeping personal boundaries with her because she was a very good friend to him, and that's what friends did. 

"Is nerves why you look like you cried?" he asked softly, but firmly. 

She looked at him, startled, but her gaze fell away. She was quiet for a few moments before saying softly, voice quivering. "I think I upset a friend, and I don't know what I did."

"Why do you think she's upset with you?" he asked, wondering what in the world _Marinette_ could have possibly done to upset someone enough that they reacted in a way to make her cry.

"I don't know," she sniffled. "He's being so distant suddenly. I'm scared to ask," she laughed bitterly. 

Not knowing what to, Adrien turned in his seat and gathered in his arms, hugging her as tightly as he could. "He's an idiot," he said seriously. 

"No, he's not," she said, before drawing away and fretting over how she was ruining his shirt. 

Adrien wasn't an idiot, he knew when the subject was being changed, so he let it go. _For now_ , he thought decisively, as he let go of her while trying to assure her about his shirt and catching her wrists to stop her fussing. Her nose was scrunched up now as she stared with distaste at the spots her tears had made on his white shirt, and she looked so cute that he was overcome by the bizarre urge to boop her nose. _With his lips_ , but he decided he hadn't just thought that. 

Luckily, Alya and Nino just walked in, Nino looking slightly annoyed and Alya looking dejected. When Adrien quirked a brow, Nino shrugged with a roll of his eyes, mouthing _Lila_ before saying, "She feels guilty."

_Oh, that was definitely not a good start with what Marinette had to say._

"It's just one day," said Adrien skeptically. "Not the end of the world."

"I know," said Alya with a sigh, as she sat across Marinette.

"I'm sorry," said Marinette morosely. "I didn't mean to upset you and Adrien was only-"

"Wait, I thought Adrien set this-"

"I did," said Adrien cutting her off. "Because Marinette has something very important to share and she didn't want to do it in front of Lila."

Marinette sank into her seat further, and Adrien slid a little bit closer to nudge her with his shoulder. Marinette looked up, but did not meet anyone's eyes as she inhaled deeply, before bursting with words. 

"This is my last day of school. It was a um, sudden decision, yes," she said slowly, and Adrien saw Alya and Nino process the words with wide eyes, and the stubborn indignation on Alya's face spurred Marinette's words to come out faster. "Starting next week I will be homeschooled because I have so much on my plate, what with the commissions and everything. You know all about that, right, Alya? You saw all the projects? And the school.... _stuff_ was becoming too much. So _maman_ and _papa_ saw how stressed out I was getting and the things in school were _obviously_ not helping and the _akumas_ were of course even worse news. Scared them, obviously. I didn't even intend to tell them but it just came out and well, so they decided, along with me of course, that it's best that I get homeschooled for the rest of the term to avoid as much stress as possible. And- _And_ before you get mad at Adrien, he only knows because _papa_ called Miss Sancouer for some information because you know, Adrien was homeschooled for forever and she passed on the information to me through Adrien and that's why he knows first so, yeah. That's... The new," she said, smiling weakly as she finished with her rambling and finally sank into her seat. 

Adrien caught her hand under the table and rubbed soothing circles on the back of her hand, and she startled again, looking at him curiously. He only smiled at her before turning to look at Nino and Alya's stunned faces. They both burst at the same time. 

"You can't just leave school!"

"What akumas are you talking about?"

"What things at school?"

" _Homeschool_? Really? M, please... I.... I don't understand..."

"Maybe you should just cut down on the commissions."

Adrien turned to Marinette and spoke quietly. "Mari, you should just tell them."

She looked at him quizzically, before realization crossed her face and she shook her head violently. "They won't believe me," she hissed, before turning to Alya and Nino with a sigh.

"I've already had my name taken off the roll guys. As for the akumas, I've been so stressed that I've had a few come for me and I... Well, lets just say thank god for my airtight lunchboxes. I caught them and gave them to Ladybug when I saw her during patrol," she said laughing nervously. 

Alya hesitated for a moment before asking slowly, "Does... Does Lila have anything to-"

Marinette flinched and started to shake her head in denial, but Adrien squeezed her hand again with a pointed look. She slumped her shoulders and looked away from her friends to fix her gaze pointedly out the window. "Yes. Yes, she does. She has me on the edge. I know you don't believe me Alya, and I've... I've made my peace with that. It's fine. It's _fine._ -"

 _It was not_ and he knew it.

"-But I'm tired of watching my back with her threat hanging over my head. I'm just tired. So, yes. This was the best solution I could come up with without hurting anyone," she said, finally turning to give them both a pained smile.

"Threat!?" Alya exploded, and Adrien waited with bated breath, wondering if she'd follow up with _Lila would never_ but thankfully she didn't. But it was clear that Marinette wasn't about to elaborate. "M?" prodded Alya.

"It doesn't matter now," she said, with a shrug. "I'm leaving anyway, so things can be... normal and less tense." Another tight smile followed by a nervous chuckle.

Adrien could see the questions in Alya's eyes, but Nino was just quiet, looking at Marinette with something that resembled guilt. Finally, he said, "The class won't be the same without you. The bakery is right across the school. We'll definitely drop by to see you, Nette. I promise."

Alya nodded vigorously, watery eyes never leaving Marinette. 

"I don't doubt it," she said with a tight smile, and it broke Adrien's heart that she definitely did doubt it. He could tell Alya was hurt by the skepticism in her tone as well. 

As lunch hour ended in a pseudo light-hearted way, Nino and Alya were walking ahead of them, whispering furiously in lower voices, while Adrien and Marinette lingered behind. They walked in silence for a couple of minutes before he wrapped an arm around her shoulder to give her half a hug. "You did good. I'm sure Alya will give Lila some thought after what you told her."

She only hummed in response, but didn't say much else until they reached the school building. Marinette paused to look up at its towering facade. "It's strange to think I won't be back in class," she said quietly. "I always knew I'd leave here eventually of course. But I thought it'd be all of us, together," she observed. "I probably won't see anyone again from Monday," she said, almost to herself.

"Of course you will," he said, looking at her firmly. "Nino said so, didn't he? We'll see you. You're not dropping off the face of the earth or anything, Mari."

"No," she agreed. "No I'm not."

"So you'll see us. Definitely," he replied solemnly, and fully meaning it. He needed to talk to Nathalie first of course, but he intended to make good on his promise.

It wasn't until much later that night, he remembered Marinette had told him she'd caught the akumas in a waterbottle for Ladybug. Maybe Marinette caught akumas in both her lunchbox _and her_ waterbottle. On the few days she bought lunch, because she... always had lunch with them at the cafe for weeks now. Unless she had a smaller box to snack from. _Of course._ He was probably overthinking this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just tell you right away that Adrigami is going to be barely there, a background thing, mentioned in the passing and won’t develop into a full fledged thing in this fic 
> 
> The main point of this fic is Marinette finding someone to shoulder her burden and learning to ask for help while developing a Marinette-Adrien relationship, so I didn’t want to make it TOO cluttered with multiple things happening - That’s a fic for another time?? I do have one planned (read: many) where Marinette’s decision to move on after he starts dating Kagami makes her lose her nerves around him and she becomes confident around Adrien and that’s when he starts to fall in love with her. 
> 
> That was my initial idea for this fic but I felt that would be too messy, and taking away from the main point of the fic. And let’s just say I’m in general not a fan of the Character-A-Leaves-Character-C-ONLY-because-they-wanted-to-be-with-B trope. It feels unfair to Character C who has done no wrong except just not being Character B.
> 
> I also (try to) make art! Follow me on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh this'll be longer than 6 chapters. maybe 10 :P

Marinette was staring at what she now called her 'Hawkmoth Board'. Where Adrien's schedule used to be, was now a map of Paris, with little red dots on wherever she had fought akumas. The only observation she had made so far was that the location-wise, most were centred around the Eiffel Tower or her schoo- former school. It wasn't much but it was still a lead, she supposed. She tried to think of what else she could take into consideration but for today she felt stumped. Deciding to take a break, she pulled on the drawstring, watching as the board rolled up before going to her laptop to see what assignment she had to complete. Without any real deadlines, the procrastinator in her had become a beast to contend with. 

She briefly wondered if the rest of the class had found out yet; she had quit the class group as soon as she had come back home yesterday. They’d probably thought it was good riddance, she thought bitterly. Shaking her head, she was willing herself to focus on the assignment before her when her mother knocked on her trapdoor before poking her head through it.

"Marinette, your friend is here to see you," she said slowly, and her mother's wary tone made her look up in trepidation.

"What? Who?" she asked, frowning. It was lunch time during the weekend, and she definitely wasn’t expecting anyone to come. Probably Alya. Sighing internally, she shook her head and nodded at her mother to let her in, wondering why Alya was here and what they would talk about; and why did her mother even look wary. She had never hesitated to send Alya up before; she couldn't help but wonder if it was because of everything Marinette had confessed about school. 

"Hey, Marinette!"

She startled at the familiar voice, because said familiar voice was not the voice she had been expecting. "Adrien?" she said, stunned as she watched him climb into her room with his satchel. "What are you doing here?"

He cocked his head at her. "I told you that you haven't seen the last of me just because you're not coming to school anymore."

She swivelled in her chair to face him, confusion written on her face. "I- I don't understand. Why are you- What about your father and-"

He chuckled sheepishly at that. "I, um, may have asked Nathalie to let me "help" you with tutoring some subjects because I'm familiar with the syllabus. A-And also with some of your tutors because… You know, they were my tutors too and not- not that I'm saying you _need_ it but I-"

"And she agreed?!" asked Marinette incredulously. 

"I kind of played it off as revision for bac," he grinned. 

Marinette simply stared at him, as he shifted uneasily, wondering if he had overstepped before she asked him quietly. "Why would you do that for me?"

"Because you're my friend," he replied firmly, dropping his satchel on the ground and walking towards her. "I wish I'd not given you that crap advice. I wouldn't have if I'd known it would come to this. You're my friend, and I want to be there for you. I haven't been till now, but I really want to change that. I know what it feels like not having anyone in your corner, and... I don't want you to feel that way. I want to be there for you."

"I- I can go if you want," he said quietly, when she stared at him too long, eyes glazed over in shock, and she startled, shaking her head violently. 

_You can be a good friend too._

"No! It's okay, Adrien. I'm just really touched that you went that far from me. I really, really appreciate it," she promised. “So your weekends are scheduled with me, now huh?”

He hesitated for a second before saying slowly, “Well, _if_ you want, it could, uh, be every day? During lunch?”

Marinette blinked. _Everyday?_ She had a million questions. Why did he suddenly care so much? Why was he paying special attention to her _now_? It was not making any sense, why now? She felt so uncertain as he looked at her with soft eyes and she felt her throat close up. The universe really hated her, the distance was to help keep her feelings at bay, to help her focus better on other things - Ladybug things - and yet here he was, suddenly paying more attention to her than before.

Maybe everyday would be pushing it. 

“Well, I’m not sure about that, Adrien,” she said slowly, hastily continuing as he deflated. “Not that I wouldn’t love to hang out with you, it’s just… I know your father rarely lets you do anything for yourself, and I know getting him to agree to lunch with us at school was a big deal-”

Adrien snorted. “I’d rather spend time here with _you_ than listen to Lila just _talking_. She makes me uncomfortable,” he finished with a shrug.

Marinette paused; she’d been about to say that _besides_ his father’s rare permission, that she had allotted the time around lunch for commissions. But now he had gone and said _that_. 

_Ugh, why is it always one step forward and two steps back when it comes to him!_ What was with blond-haired, green-eyed boys causing her this much grief! She thought to herself in annoyance, taking a moment to breathe deeply, because really, the _whole_ purpose of this homeschooling was _distance_ from everything that was hurting her. 

She smiled at him hesitantly. “I’m afraid you’ll get bored if you come over everyday,” she started. “I allotted alternate days of lunch time to work on commissions.”

She hoped he’d make the choice of just coming to help her alternate days by himself, and-

“That’s fine!” he said. “I’ll just… Be here, working on my homework or something. And we can grab lunch together!”

Her heart sank. _Any_ other time… She would’ve jumped with joy at his offer, but now, she wanted to rush over to Tikki’s hiding spot and demand the Goddess of Luck where all her supposed good luck was. This would only end up in a world of hurt. What if he asked her _more_ advice on Kagami? She really could not afford anymore nights of crying herself to sleep. But she really had no grounds to turn his offer down without hurting him now, because he genuinely looked excited at the prospect. 

And so, trying her best not to show her strain in her smile, she said, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He beamed at her, pausing before asking, " _So_ do you need help with anything? If not, we could play UMS! Or rather, you can kick my butt at it!"

She bit her lower lip, worrying it for a moment before grinning sheepishly. "Maybe help me with Physics before that?"

She might as well resign herself to this now, she thought glumly.

" _Alright!_ " he said, pounding the air with his fist as he eagerly sat next to her on the empty chair. “It’s my favourite subject.”

Two hours in, Sabine knocked again, asking them if they’d like anything to eat and both of them nodded enthusiastically. Ten minutes later, the two of them were sitting on the floor of her bedroom, munching on croissants. 

_This is not so bad_ , she mused. 

“Hey, Marinette?”

“Hm?”

When met with silence, she focused on him, noting his nervous demeanour. Growing apprehensive, she asked, “What?”

“You… You uh, quit the class group yesterday.”

She chewed slowly, taking the time to answer, bracing herself to hear what had happened after. In all honesty, she would rather not know at all. “Well, I’m not in class anymore, so… I quit.”

Adrien nodded, and sensing his hesitation, Marinette could tell there was more. Shifting uneasily, she turned to face fully, sitting right in front of him, dusting the crumbs of her fingers before crossing her hands. 

“What? I can tell there’s more, Adrien.”

Adrien sighed. “Okay, it’s just… There was something that confused me. I actually opened the group a couple of hours later, after… You know, fencing. So there were a _lot of_ messages on the group. Everyone was kind of shocked about how you up and left the group, and everyone was confused of course,” he rambled. “And-And then Lila said something about how you were maybe just acting out and-”

Marinette grimaced before scoffing. 

“-Then about how you get when you got jealous over something? That you act out. And well, the messages were deleted before I could get any further than that, but it got _really_ awkward on the group when I asked what was going on and I don’t know, it felt like it was kind of… my fault? I even asked Nino but he just seemed very uncomfortable.” he trailed away, noting how stiff Marinette was, as she stared at him unblinkingly. 

Marinette was shocked when she realized that she was in fact, not panicking. She was only angry now, and even irritated, because _how dare they_ . Had her crush on Adrien become a part of her identity to _such_ an extent that her classmates thought anything or everything she did had _something_ to do with Adrien? It was frankly infuriating, even though she knew that Lila had manipulated them into believing. 

She could only sputter. “ _How_ would quitting the class group even help in my “jealous vendetta”?! It makes no _sense_.”

Adrien was staring at her, and though he didn’t say anything, the curiosity and question was clear in his eyes.

She stared at him, her thoughts running a mile a minute. She might as well tell him now. As pointless as it maybe, she supposed he deserved to know, especially now that he thought that this was somehow his fault. Darkly, she thought maybe he’d hate her after this and just stop coming over all together. 

_What is one more person_ not _in my corner anyway_? She thought bitterly. 

She sighed deeply, looking away from him as she rubbed her forearms to seek some sort of comfort before looking at him. She hoped she didn’t look as sad or resigned as she felt. 

“They think I’m jealous of Lila,” she said at last, watching as his face turned incredulous. 

“Of _Lila_ ?” he asked, as if she’d just cracked a joke. “You are everything she isn’t and _more_ ,” he said earnestly. 

She hummed. _This is it._ “They thought I hated Lila because I was jealous,” she paused, before swallowing thickly, feeling like she was on the brink of something _huge_ . This was a moment she’d been waiting for for _years_ now. And here she was, and the circumstances couldn’t have been worse. “Jealous of the fact that she was spending time with you and you seemed to like her. They think I hate her because I’m jealous over you, so no one believes me when I… You know, ” she shrugged.

“Me?” he frowned, and if she wasn’t so anxious right now, she would’ve made a joke about how daft he was because _honestly_ did he _really_ not get it? Would she have to say the words _out loud?_

“Yeah,” she said, willing her voice to remain steady. “Because I had a crush on you. So,” she shrugged, trying to keep it light. Nonchalant. Though it was anything but, as he stared at her slackjawed. 

“You have a crush on _me_?” he squeaked. 

“ _Had_ ,” she said, with emphasis. _Liar._

He still looked like he was at a loss of words, so backing away a little she tried to smile at him, as if conveying that this was no big deal _at all._ Though she was really wishing the ground would swallow her up whole.

She waved her hands. “Don’t worry about it, Adrien. It’s a thing of the past. Nothing to think about. Just wanted you to know from the source,” she said pointing at herself with a nervous chuckle. “Before you inevitably find out on Monday. I’m sure _everyone_ will be talking about it.”

He nodded dazedly. “I- I thought you liked Luka.”

She paushed, thoughtfully. “I did.”

“I… I know Luka likes you too, why didn’t you-”

“He deserves better than someone who has feelings for _two_ people,” she said, interrupting him. There was more to it of course, but Adrien didn’t need to know about her “other” responsibilities. “Having feelings for two people isn’t wrong, but if I had started dating him, then what? I see you everyday. My crush on you wouldn’t have just flipped off, you know, which isn’t fair to him. _Or_ I could’ve just… Cut off from you, kept my distance, which isn’t fair to _you_ because we’re _friends_ and I can’t just do that without an explanation. Like, it’s not _your_ fault I couldn’t get a grip on my feelings, so why should I take it out on you?” She paused, cocking her head. “It _hurts_ when people just flip a switch overnight and keep their distance as if you were never anything more than co-workers,” she said softly, her voice cracking just a little bit, before shaking her head to blink away the tears. 

She couldn’t have Adrien thinking she was crying over the confession or anything. Because, really, that wasn’t why the tears had come unbidden. She looked up at him with a small smile, noting that he was observing her curiously now. She cocked her head at him. 

“It’s _so_ weird talking to you about this,” she mused. “Four months ago I would’ve probably passed out by now.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” he asked quietly. 

Marinette blinked at him. “I tried,” she said. _God, did I try._ “And then, I stopped.”

“Why?” he asked, the curious lilt never once leaving his voice. 

“It seemed… Pointless,” she said honestly.

“I wish you had told me,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

She snorted. “ _Why_? So you could reject me?”

“What, _no_ , you don’t know that!” he said indignantly. 

She only looked at sceptically, and shook her head at him. 

“ _What_?” 

“Nothing,” she muttered, because this was just getting weirder and weirder. Was she trying to convince him that he would have rejected her? She was sure he would have. And was _he_ **_really_ ** trying to convince her that he _wouldn’t_ have? How… Convoluted. 

After a moment of silence, Adrien cleared his throat. “So, um… You said… You said you _had_ …?”

He trailed away the question, looking at her expectantly, and she could only stare at him incredulously. “Yeah. _Had_ . Past tense. As in, I _don’t_ anymore.” 

She was telling him the truth, so why not tell him the whole truth? Tikki’s voice asked in her head. 

_I’m telling him what I wish was fully true because I need it to be and if I say it enough it’ll be._

Besides, she reasoned with herself, he had a girlfriend now. She couldn’t and did not want to cause him stress in any form whatsoever. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Not to mention, there would be no point in telling him the whole truth, her feelings were a mess that shouldn’t be touched with an 11-foot pole. 

“Um, what changed?” he asked, fidgeting, moving to sit next to her as they both leaned against her chaise. “Why did you… Stop? Did I do something?”

“Are you serious?” she almost laughed. “You really want to know why I stopped crushing on you?”

He nodded hesitantly.

“You hear your crush call you a “good friend” a dozen times a day and set them up on a date with someone else, it kinda makes you want to let go of your feelings you know,” she said wryly. Truest thing she’d said, and _boy,_ did she want to let go of her feelings.

Adrien, however, looked horrified. “I can’t believe I did that! Marinette, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize!! I must have hurt you so much,” he fret.

She bumped his shoulder with hers. “It’s okay, Adrien. You didn’t know.”

“I- I wish I had,” he exclaimed. “I can’t believe I made you third-wheel our date, I’m so _so_ sorry, Mari!” he said, not noticing her tense a little as he threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close in a side hug.

“It- It’s okay,” she said in a strangled voice. “A thing of the past. Dust under the rug. Water under the bridge. And-And all that.”

He only made another noise of frustration, making Marinette slip away from under his arm as she made to stand up. He was looking at her dolefully, and Marinette held out a hand to him. 

“Enough of the sad stuff,” she declared. “It’s time to kick your butt at UMS!”

-o-

It was nearly evening when Adrien finally left for his home. Marinette felt oddly lighter, like at least _some_ of the weight was lifted off her chest. After Sabine handed Adrien a bag with some pastries for home, adding sugar doughnuts because she knew the Gorrilla loved them, Marinette walked Adrien to the door. 

“I’m really glad you dropped by Adrien,” she said, as they waited for his driver.

“Me too,” he said, hesitating for a second before pulling her into a tight hug. Her nose tucked into the crook of his neck, she was stunned for a moment before embracing him as well, arms around his waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder. “I’m glad you told me.”

Her cheeks flared scarlet. “Uh.. Y-Yeah me too.”

“And I really am sorry, you know,” he said. “For being such an idiot.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Adrien. We’re both the better for it now, aren’t we?”

He nodded against her, his embrace tightening and _honestly_ , she prayed he couldn’t hear the way her heart was hammering in her chest. She was screaming on the inside because while she was happy that they were closer, that she could count on him as a good friend, the mild ache in her heart was still there. She couldn’t help but feel that it was all a cruel joke, because why were they making progress in a relationship that had gone _nowhere_ at a time this would have made her happy for _days_ ? Why _now_ , when she had decided that she needed the time and space. 

True, she had told him that she wouldn’t have cut him off when she was dating Luka, but she didn’t think it counted when she was going to leave school. She had thought she’d leave school, and just fade away from everyone’s lives. That was what she had expected, but here she was. 

She sighed softly. “You’re a good friend, Adrien.”

Then, with one last squeeze, she drew back and smiled at him, just as his car pulled up. He stepped back, gripping his bag tightly.

“Good night, Marinette,” he said, a small smile on his face. “I’ll… I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow, lunch time,” she nodded. “I look forward to it.”

“Me too,” he smiled, before waving and sliding into his car. 

She watched as the car disappeared and shook her head, heading back inside feeling an odd sense of relief and dread. 

_What a day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also (try to) make art! Follow me on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AT LONG LAST, ANOTHER CHAPTER.

Adrien could tell Kagami was losing her patience, but there was simply too much on his mind right now. If he had it his way, he’d rather have dinner in the cafe he used to like going to with the others during lunch, but here he was at a stuffy restaurant of Natalie’s choosing, which _really_ was not helping his state of mind. He heard Kagami huff lightly, as he prodded his chicken with his fork, and fought the urge to just ignore that for now; after spending lunch time with Marinette, there’d been Chinese lessons followed by a brief photoshoot, after which he’d been shipped off to the restaurant for his date. 

Sighing, he set down the fork carefully and looked at Kagami. “I’m sorry for being so distracted, Kagami. I have a lot on my mind,” he said, swallowing nervously when her frown deepened. 

“Adrien, you’ve been distracted every date we’ve been on and-”

“This is only our third date,” he said, cocking his head at her.

She blinked at him, before pursing her lips. “ _Exactly._ It’s been two weeks after you said you would give this a try and this is only our third date and-”

Adrien frowned. “You know how busy my father keeps me.”

“-You’ve been distracted on _all_ three dates,” she continued. “And I _know_ your father keeps you busy, but when you do get the rare opportunity to meet me, I would appreciate it if you were at least fully _here_ ,” she finished. “Especially if you want this to work,” she added in a small voice.

Adrien tensed, suddenly wary. He knew he had to tread very carefully now with measured words. He had to temper down his reflex habit of cracking a joke to diffuse the tension, but he knew that would not necessarily go down well; it usually never did. 

“I’m sorry,” he said carefully. “I… Found out something today and I haven’t really had the time to process it.”

Kagami blinked. “Well, okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

He paused before giving her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I’d rather not.”

He could tell that she didn’t like that, but he also did not want to take back his words. He genuinely did not want to talk to Kagami about this, especially not when himself had things to think about. She opened her mouth to say something, but Adrien beat her to it. 

“Anyway,” he said, picking up his fork. “How was fencing today? I heard Monsieur D’Argencourt added two newbies to the team going for nationals.”

She stared at him for a few seconds before cutting into her chicken and told him about the new teammates without batting an eye as if Adrien hadn’t just blatantly changed the subject. He tried to keep up and nodded along. They spoke about fencing all the way till dessert, and Adrien was somewhat thankful he did not have to rack his brain for something else to talk about. 

Goodbyes were a little awkward, as they had been since that kiss Adrien had nervously refused and when he closed the door to his room behind him, he breathed, feeling his tense shoulders unclench as he turned the lock and shrugged out of his overshirt.

“That went well, I’d say,” cackled Plagg, poking his head out Adrien’s pocket.

“Shut up,” Adrien muttered, sighing as he leaned against the window. 

“Marinette has a crush on me, Plagg.”

“ _That’s_ what you’ve been unable to process?” asked Plagg judgementally.

“ _Hey_ , I’m allowed to feel shocked! I had no idea!” said Adrien indignantly. “I mean, I don’t even understand _why_ she liked me! Could it be because I…? No, if that was it, she wouldn’t have yelled at me back on my first day at school, so I don’t understand. What _changed_ , Plagg?”

“Kid, its true that I am a god but I don’t have the answer to everything!” he snarked. “Besides, these are things you should be asking your girlfriend, not me and-

“ _Plagg_! Marinette is one of my-”

“Very good friends, yada yada,” said Plagg, rolling his eyes. “So you keep saying.”

Adrien narrowed his eyes. “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“I don’t see what the big deal is, kid. It’s in the past anyway, she said she _had_ a crush on you, so stop worrying about it.”

“But that means I-”

“Hurt her? Broke her heart? Made her feel worse with that high road nonsense?” finished Plagg, counting off fingers he didn’t have, before hovering in front of Adrien’s face. “Yes, probably. You probably did all that, but you did it _unknowingly_ kid, you didn’t know. It’s not your fault, Pigtails herself said so. She doesn’t hold anything against you, so don’t beat yourself about it.”

“Marinette is such a good person,” sighed Adrien, making Plagg’s brows - or at least the muscle where his brows should be - rise. “I can’t believe she agreed to help me with planning a date.”

Adrien fell silent for a couple of minutes before asking Plagg, “Do you think I shouldn’t try and date Kagami? Just… Something Mari said…” he trailed away, spinning in his chair once before looking at his computer; he still had not changed the wallpaper. 

_My crush on you wouldn’t have just flipped off, you know, which isn’t fair to him. Or I could’ve just… Cut off from you, kept my distance, which isn’t fair to you because we’re friends and I can’t just do that without an explanation._

As he stared at the photo of Ladybug grinning at him, he realized that she hadn’t smiled like that around him in a while, not since Miracle Queen. What if Marinette was right, was he being unfair to Kagami? _And_ to Ladybug? He knew he had put some distance, but she had too; and she seemed more distant than ever before, and while he had wanted to give her space, he had to acknowledge, however uneasily, that he hadn’t even tried to ask. 

Maybe Marinette was right afterall. 

He heard Plagg sigh, and felt him poke his cheek. 

“I know what you’re thinking,” said Plagg. “But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to give it a shot with the fencer girl. You want to move on, and that’s fine. That said, you’ve got to at least try. You need to _want_ to move on. Do you? _With Fencer Girl_?”

“Of _course_ I want to move on!” said Adrien sternly. 

“Well, there you have it, that’s one part of the question you answered,” shrugged Plagg. “What about the other half?” prodded Plagg.

“I… Who else with?” muttered Adrien.

“Well, how am _I_ supposed to know,” asked Plagg snarkily. 

Adrien pouted petulantly, but did not say anything as he considered what Plagg was saying. He thought he understood where Plagg was going with it, but there was no way to be sure, and he didn’t want to breach the topic again. 

-o-

Come Monday, lunch went by sooner than Adrien would have liked. He loved spending time with the Dupain-Chengs (especially their youngest) and he felt a little wistful that he hadn’t tried harder while she was still at school. A shame too, because once she got over her nerves, she was the _easiest_ person to talk to. Or even stay quiet with, because she never pushed and the warmth in her smile was enough to put him at ease. There was no need to fill awkward silences.

"Where were you at lunch, bro?" asked Nino, as Adrien slid into the empty seat.

Adrien hesitated only for a second before answering him. "I, uh, went home. Father decided it's better for me to eat at home."

Nino narrowed his gaze, before raising his hand to poke at Adrien's cheek. "So your father's started serving pastries at lunch, huh?"

Adrien's eyes widened, and he sheepishly brushed off the crumbs of his before shrugging and replying weakly. "Uh, my chef took pity on me?"

Nino only rolled his eyes. "You could've just told us you went to Marinette's you know. We would have even joined you."

"By we, if you mean you and Alya," started Adrien. "That sounds great. But you and I both know Alya would insist on Lila coming along. She'd see it as an opportunity for Lila and Mari to make amends." He grimaced at that. "I don't know why she's so hell bent on that."

"Well, um, I... Don't think that'd be the case," said Nino, glancing over his shoulder at his girlfriend who was reading something on her phone with intense concentration.

Adrien raised a sceptical eyebrow. "You're telling me you guys didn't have lunch with Lila today?"

"Oh, um, we did, but Alya has been a little on edge since our last conversation with Mari," Nino admitted. "With what Marinette said about Lila threatening her and all of that stuff, Alya is feeling very conflicted."

"Are you for real?" Adrien hissed. "She's still doubting Marinette? I cannot believe this. Marinette was right. Ugh, I just..." he shook his head in agitation. 

Nino frowned. "Adrien, you know Alya, she just wants to look at this objectively," he said defensively. 

"Well, does objectivity matter when your bestfriend is hurting enough that she decided just leaving school would be easier?" Adrien scowled. "I don't know about you Nino, but I think maybe Alya should’ve focused on being a better friend than a journalist. This is not a news story.”

"Excuse me?" came Alya's stricken voice from behind him, and Adrien realized he had started to raise his voice. 

He winced, turning around slowly, thankful that they hadn’t been loud enough to attract attention. He caught and held Alya’s glare, but waited for her to say something. Her eyes narrowed at him, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

“I’ll have you know,” Alya seethed. “That I don’t “doubt” Marinette, as you put it. I know how she thinks and she has a tendency to… be _biased_ when it comes to… _stuff_. I just did not want to hurt someone who did not deserve it and-”

“-And yet, you did,” Adrien snarked, which only riled her up further. 

“I _know_ , I messed up, alright?” she burst. “I’ve been _trying_ to make up for it!”

“Really? Is that why Marinette hasn’t heard from you _at all_ all weekend?”

He knew he shouldn’t push this way, but he couldn’t help it. It had only made him madder that morning that Marinette’s departure had his classmates _somehow_ sympathising with Lila that day, before they could even start to question why she’d left so suddenly. 

“You didn’t even defend her when she left the group chat!” continued Adrien accusingly. 

Alya’s scowl deepened. “Who do you think deleted all the chats before… Well, _Ugh_.”

 _Before you saw them_ , he realized, now that he knew what he did. He realized he was still not supposed to know. And yet...

“You didn’t say anything,” he pointed out. “You knew why she left and you said nothing.”

“I didn’t say anything because I had no _proof_ -”

Adrien just about burst with rage, but Alya continued. 

“-and I was taking time to collect it and I- I didn’t want to tip Lila off or anything,” her voice grew shaky. “I… I need one more thing.”

Adrien looked at her dumbly, his anger leaving behind confusion. Alya did not seem to want to talk anymore so Adrien looked at Nino for explanation, who was now glancing between the two of them warily. 

“Alya’s been looking into everything Lila’s been saying and well-”

“Marinette was right,” Alya said, sniffling a little, and Adrien couldn’t help feeling a little guilty now. “All I need is confirmation from Ladybug now before I tell everyone.”

Adrien cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I, er, I can vouch for that. I was there when Ladybug confronted Lila. Lila hates her.”

Alya stiffened and she looked up to glare at him. “You _knew_?”

“Well, I-”

“Why didn’t you say anything!” she said, straightening, and glaring at him. 

“Bro, is that why you’ve been sceptical of Lila from the start?”

“Yeah,” he muttered. “After that, I couldn’t trust a word out of her mouth. I _told_ her to stay away from Marinette after the whole expelling thing she orchestrated and-”

“ _She_ orchestrated?” Alya’s voice had gotten shrill. 

Adrien blinked. “I mean, yes, tell me you didn’t think Marinette actually did-”

“I _know_ M, didn’t do anything!” scowled Alya. “I- I thought it must have been an accident, but I- I didn’t _know_ and Marinette never told me,” she said miserably, before glaring at him. “But _you_ knew! Why didn’t you tell any of us!”

Adrien looked away. “I… Well, you didn’t believe your best friend, why would you believe me?” 

Alya pursed her lips. “I didn’t _not_ believe her, I didn’t think she was lying, I just thought she was being a little biased because of… Well… Some-”

“Her crush on me?” asked Adrien, cutting her off, continuing when he saw her slack jawed. “Yeah, she told me all about it.”

“ _Marinette_ told you!? I- Why didn’t she tell me,” she muttered to herself. 

Adrien was about to retort, but Nino silenced him with a look, before Alya said again, louder. “I don’t believe this. I can’t believe you _knew_ and didn’t tell us, and sat quietly when the rest of the class attacked her, and-”

“So did you!” 

“Guys-”

“-But you _knew_ . Did Marinette know you knew? What am I saying, of course she did, that’s why you knew before any of us that she was leaving and… You knew _that_ too and-”

“It wasn’t _my_ news to tell, Marinette wasn’t comfortable yet! And the only reason I knew is because M. Dupain reached out to Nathalie!”

“That still does not excuse the fact that you sat by and did _nothing_ , I was _doubtful_ but you _knew_ and-”

“ _Dudes_!” said Nino, louder this time, a hand slamming on the table, which finally drew everyone’s attention to the three of them. “Let’s do this later?”

Adrien relented and turned around, dropping back in the chair just as their teacher walked in, and crossed his arms petulantly, trying not to flinch at the way Alya was glaring at him. Despite him getting defensive, he couldn’t help but feel that Alya was right; afterall, he’d been beating himself up for the exact same reason. Sighing internally, he knew he’d have to apologize to Alya.

He felt a nudge in his ribs and looked up to see Nino passing him a note.

**_So. You finally know, huh. All good between you two??_ **

Adrien looked at Nino and shrugged. 

**_She said it was in the past, so. Nothing there was no need to get into it._ **

Adrien watched Nino read that with raised eyebrows. 

**_Nette said she was over it? For real?_ **

**_Yeah. She emphasized on that multiple times._ **

**_Huh. That’s… Surprising. She was crazy for you._ **

Adrien stared at the words, remembering the way she used to flush red around him. And her beaming but shy smile, filled with warmth and adoration, as she would have him taste something new from the bakery. It was so hard to unsee all of the little things now that he knew. 

**_Well, it all worked out in the end right? No one got hurt._ **

_That isn’t true though, is it?_

In the image of his mind’s eye, he wondered if he was imagining the tension in her shoulders when he’d asked for her help with Kagami, and the fake smile she’d plastered on her face when she agreed. 

It was hard to unsee the smaller, stinging bits as well. 

He thought, wistfully, about the wary, guarded look in her eyes when she spoke to him, and the way she seemed a little lost in her own head nowadays. She was always one to daydream, endearingly so, but the tension in her shoulders as she absent-mindedly fingered her earrings were clearly indicative of something else bothering; that it wasn’t a daydream she was lost in. He hoped she’d grow more comfortable around him, because he cherished their friendship more than she could ever know. 

He startled out of his thoughts as Nino shoved another note under his nose.

**_Maybe she’ll finally go out with Luka._ **

Adrien frowned, wondering whether to tell Nino the conversation he’d had with Marinette about Luka. She’d said she wasn’t going to, right? No, she’d said she _would not have_ when she still had a crush on him. But… She did not anymore. Adrien worried his lower lip.

**_Maybe._ **

**_I hope so. He’s a good guy, and Nette deserves to be happy after all_ ** ~~**_the pining and stuff with y_ **~~ **_this drama._ **

Adrien pursed his lips as he easily read through Nino’s strikethrough. 

**_Yeah, she deserves that and more. She’s amazing :D_ **

* * *

I'm still learning, but here's some art I made for this fic :P I've embedded them in the chapters itself as well, of course in better quality (Ch3 and Ch5)

I also (try to) make other art, follow me ( _ **OR ELSE**_ **🔪** ;3) on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/tagged/my-art), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_)! [ I apologize currently it's a a whole galore of [love square red carpet tingz](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/post/622025418745217024/the-love-square-at-the-red-carpet-gasp-at-long) :P 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also (try to) make art! Follow me on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/)
> 
> Yes, it is true, I'm shamelessly self-promoting :3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i failed. this story cannot be contained in 10 chapters. not really ADDING to the story, but it's just taking longer than i thought. i'll probably do a separate part on the alya-lila-class situation. doesn't seem to fit HERE anymore, because now it's all about the love square... :P or possibly include that in the part 2 i have planned.

To say she was surprised when Kagami had texted her was an understatement; they hadn’t spoken in two weeks, and truth be told, Marinette had been too heartsick to reach out on her own. So the fact that Kagami had texted her on the same night of the day she’d told Adrien about her feelings ( _ technically, lied _ ) did not bode well. So it was with nervous trepidation that she agreed to meet her lunch the next day, and here she was, nervously sitting across Kagami. 

“Hi,” she said warily.

“Hello,” replied Kagami, her voice surprisingly timid. 

“So, um… Wh-What did you want to talk to me about?”

Kagami was nervous, which surprised Marinette, but she did not pry further, waiting patiently for Kagami to say something. 

“I’m sorry, I’ve been a bad friend,” said Kagami at last, finally looking up at Marinette. 

Marinette blinked in confusion. “What’re you-”

“After asking Adrien out, I- I just felt really nervous to meet you because I know how you feel about him and-”

Realisation dawned on Marinette, and she leaned forward to stop Kagami’s nervously gesticulating hands. “Kagami, it’s not your fault you’re braver than I ever was,” said Marinette ruefully. “I don’t blame you for it, not in the least. You’re my friend, and I’m happy for you.”

Kagami looked at her warily. “Really? I… I did not mean to hurt you. You’re my only friend aside from Adrien, and I didn’t want to hurt you but-”

Marinette sighed. “I had my chance and I blew it, Kagami, I don’t blame you for making the first move.”

Kagami still did not look appeased. Steeling herself, Marinette looked Kagami right in the eye, trying to squish the unease she felt at how comfortably the lies were making their way out of her mouth now. 

“It’s all in the past, Kagami. I don’t feel that way for him anymore,” she paused, considering. “And- And I told him as much.”

Kagami drew back, shocked. “You  _ told  _ him?  _ When _ ?”

“Yesterday,” she said. “At lunch. It was no big deal, I told him then I kicked his butt at UMS,” she continued, shrugging non-chalantly as if her heart wasn’t trying to beat out of it’s chest.

“ _ Yesterday!? _ ”

Realising the look of hurt from a potential misinterpretation, Marinette hastily explained the situation with Lila, how she’d decided to go for homeschooling and the questions he had asked about her leaving the class group. 

“And so, I had to tell him. I wanted him to hear it from me, rather than some convoluted version of it from class.”

Kagami sat back, stunned. “Pardon me for saying this, Marinette, but your class comprises of a snivelling bunch of idiots.”

“Lila is a good liar, Kagami,” shrugged Marinette. “Am I hurt that they think I could do awful things like that? Yes. But I got tired of fighting it.”

“Did you tell them you helped Adrien with our first date?”

Marinette winced, but shook her head. They sat in silence for sometime, picking on their food both contemplating before Kagami looked at her carefully. “So, Adrien got Nathalie to schedule his lunch with you, huh? Everyday?”

“ _ Only _ to help me out with homeschooling,” said Marinette quickly. “I think he was feeling a little bit guilty about the whole thing with Lila.”

Kagami nodded, but her face was unreadable, making Marinette squirm in her seat. “You’re telling me you do not have feelings for Adrien anymore?”

“Nope,” she said, shoving a piece of tomato in her mouth. 

“And you’ve told Adrien that you used to have feelings for him? Yesterday, at lunch?”

“Yep.”

Kagami sat back, crossing her arms. “You know, I don’t believe you.”

Marinette frowned. “I  _ did  _ tell him.”

“That’s not the part I don’t believe,” said Kagami quietly. 

Marinette spluttered. “I  _ don’t _ . I  _ don’t  _ have feelings for him. He has a girlfriend now and-”

“ _ Technically,  _ he has not _ - _ ” muttered Kagami, but was cut off by Marinette. 

“-He has always thought of me as just a friend, Kagami,” she said, her voice a little louder than before. “-And that  _ is fine _ . I  _ told  _ him I don’t have feelings for him because even if it’s just friendship I get from him, it’s fine. There’s just so much on my plate right now, and I  _ need  _ to not have feelings for him, I can’t afford to right now. So, yeah, Kagami,” she said, a little tightly. “I do  _ not  _ have feelings for Adrien Agreste anymore.”

Kagami was staring at her, eyes a little wide before she conceded, albeit reluctantly. “Okay. I believe you. You do not have feelings for Adrien Agreste anymore.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, shall we order dessert? Or we could head to the bakery for some free dessert?” she asked with a smile, trying to loosen her shoulders. 

Kagami gave her a small smile. “I’d like that very much.”

-o-

After a hearty lunch, Tom and Sabine bid both the kids goodbye to manage the bakery, while Adrien and Marinette stayed behind to clear out the dishes. It had been a week since they’d started to have lunch together and had formed an easy routine between them. They worked in comfortable silence, and exchanged small smiles when they caught the other’s eye.    
  
As mundane as the action was, Adrien felt at ease and more welcomed than he did at his own home. He stole a glance at Marinette, who had her brows furrowed in intense concentration as she walked slowly to the kitchen sink with a pile of dirty dishes.    
  
He couldn’t help the mild agitation he felt at the distance between them, and yes, maybe they had not been  _ close  _ friends before, but they’d still been friends but he could see the way she looked at him warily sometimes and the guarded apprehension in her eyes. It was of course getting better, but he couldn’t help but feel that there was something more that she wasn’t talking about.

As he pushed the last of the chairs back into their places against the dining table, he leaned back against the counter watching her quietly. It had been a week since he’d found out, and Plagg still found it funny, but he still couldn’t quite believe she had  _ liked  _ him, romantically. Enough to apparently help him plan a date for him and  _ someone else _ . He remembered her derisive snort when he’d indignantly stated the possibility of him  _ not  _ rejecting her.

And what had  _ that  _ been about anyway, why had he gotten so defensive when she’d said that? Why had  _ she  _ been so disbelieving anyway? Did she really think he’d say no to someone like her? Granted, he was in love with Ladybug, but Marinette… She was amazing in her own right! And a manic part of him wanted to shake her by the shoulders and explain why exactly he thought she was amazing and deserved the world. Not for the first time that week, he was wondering how he would have reacted if she had in fact asked him out. True, maybe he’ll never know now because she didn’t feel that way anymore, but he couldn’t help it; especially knowing he could easily see himself dating her. 

He was sure she’d probably bring him pastries every morning, and kick his butt at video games everyday. Maybe he’d make a habit of coming over for dinner often as well, and he had no doubts that Tom would goad him into learning a bit of baking. He’d learn chocolate chip cookies first, obviously. And he’d have helped her with physics and she’d make noises of annoyance when she didn’t understand something, while he’d playfully pull her focus back with a kiss to the side of her head and -

_ Whoa. Stop right there. _

Shaking his head, and trying to subtly fan his flaming face, he looked at her to see she was wiping her hands on the towel before her eyes met his. She smiled at him,  _ still  _ hesitant and a little unsure, and he sighed internally. 

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” she shrugged, heading over to the fridge to pull out two slices of cake for dessert.

“Why did you, uh, like me?” he asked, twiddling his thumbs, grinning sheepishly with a shrug when she looked at him incredulously.

“ _ Seriously _ ?” she asked, handing him a plate with a wedge of cake. “I thought we were past that,” she almost whined.

“I’m... I’m just curious,” he muttered, as he followed her up to her room. 

“ _ Why _ ? I mean, I told you, it was in the p-past and… Why does it matter?” 

He dropped onto her chair while she sat on her chaise lounge, feet tucked under her as she looked at him with wide-eyed incredulity. 

“I…”  _ I want to know because you’re such an amazing person, and I’m stumped by what you could have seen in me.  _ “Please?”

She sighed before looking up at him. “Because you were kind to me even when I didn’t deserve it.”

He blinked at her in confusion, lost as to what she was talking about, because what had Marinette done that she deemed didn’t deserve kindness?  _ Marinette _ . She seemed to read his confusion, and he could swear she growled under her breath, before a deep inhale. 

“The day you gave me your umbrella?” she said, her face flaming but her expression neutral. 

He startled, and let out a squeak. “That was the day we  _ met _ !”

Marinette groaned, covering her face with her hands. “I am  _ aware _ . Now can we  _ please  _ not talk about this,” she said insistently. “It’s in the  _ past _ now,” He swore her eyes twitched just a little. “We’re friends now, aren’t we? Why do you care about all that  _ now _ anyway?” 

_ Yeah, Adrien,  _ why  _ do you care _ ? Asked a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Plagg. 

“I was… just wondering, I guess,” shrugged Adrien, twiddling his thumbs. “All of this is so new to me. I’ve never really done this relationship stuff before and-”

“Well, neither have I,” said Marinette, cocking her head at him, clearly trying to puzzle out what he meant. 

He hummed and looked at her thoughtfully. “What would a good relationship look like, to you?”

Marinette blinked at him, before tilting her head up to study her ceiling. “Well,” she said. “I’d honestly like it to look like  _ maman  _ and  _ papa’s _ . They are honest with each other. They’ve had their fair share of fights, but  _ papa  _ once told me he can be herself around  _ maman _ . He can say the first thing that comes to mind and she wouldn’t mind. Yeah,” she nodded to herself. “I guess that’s what I’d like. Just being able to be myself. No pressure, or having to second guess everything,” her tone had almost turned wistful, as she gazed out her window. 

Then she turned to Adrien with a smile, chuckling mirthfully. “I guess that’s why my crush on you didn’t last. You made me too nervous,” she laughed, a little shakily. 

“R-Right,” he said, looking away a little guiltily when he started to suspect that her eyes had misted over, his chest feeling a little heavy.

“But it’s all hunky dory now,” declared Marinette, her voice steady. “Come on, monsieur, physics awaits us.”

-o-

Chat Noir shifted uneasily on his feet, humming a melody under his breath as he waited for Ladybug, mind racing a mile a minute as he wondered what she could possibly want to talk to him about. He’d almost asked for a raincheck, but the sense of unease and urgency he sensed from her made him relent, and he’d had to postpone the dinner with Kagami. 

He sighed internally, knowing Kagami had not been happy at that but had not argued. There was an almost knowing look in her eye when he’d FaceTimed her to tell her about it rather than over text. Her eyes were sharp as ever on him, as she’d nodded once but made him promise that they would meet up sometime this week. He knew he was upsetting her, but between his Chat Noir duties, spending time with Marinette, keeping up to date with his studies and extracurriculars, it was just  _ hard _ to give as much time as he wanted to to their budding relationship; if he could even call it that. Their dates had been awkward at worst and dull at best, and he could not help blame himself for it; maybe he’d just seen too much anime and had high expectations. And maybe-

His thoughts were interrupted by silent footsteps behind him and Ladybug was by his side in a second. 

“What was that song you were humming?” she asked, her voice a little shaky. 

Chat frowned, as he turned to look at her. “A lullaby my mother used to play for me. Why’re you-”

She shook her head, as if clearing her mind of something. “Never mind, I… Well, I’m… Sorry, I called you out of the blue and-”

“It’s fine,” he cut her off, wondering if he imagined her wince. “I’m sure it was important, whatever it was.”

“Oh, um. Right,” she said, and inhaled deeply before looking at him. “So after the whole um, Miracle Queen incident, as you know, things have been uncomfortable and-”

Chat stilled. “What? What’re you talking about?”

“Oh-  _ Oh _ \- I didn’t mean between,” she let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing her temples, and Chat looked on in concern as she started to rock on the balls of her feet. 

_ “Get to the point,”  _ he thought she muttered to herself.

“What I mean is I’m tired of how things have been going and I decided we need to take the fight to Hawkmoth and-”

“You know who he is?” asked Chat, straightening immediately. 

“Not…  _ Yet _ ,” she muttered, and in a flurry, went on to explain how she’d been tracking akumas and mapping things out and how she’d narrowed it down to a particular region and-

“Ladybug,” he said quietly. “Why exactly are you telling me all of this?”

He winced, realising how his phrasing sounded but he genuinely couldn’t help but wonder. They’d hardly exchanged anything more than brief greetings the last couple of weeks, let alone a full fledged conversation and here she was telling him the things that she was. Maybe a part of him was used to the secrecy. Whatever the reason, it had been the wrong thing to say.

She was frozen still, her face draining of all colour as she stared at him in disbelief. The tip of her nose was starting to turn red, and she looked away, breathing in deeply before looking back at him, eyes watery as she gave him a shaky smile. 

“You know what, never mind,” she said, already untucking her yo-yo. 

_ Ugh, idiot, idiot, idiot _ , he chided himself. “Ladybug, wait, I-”

“I’ll see you around, Chat Noir,” she said, almost a little sadly as she swung away into the night. 

-o-

As soon as Adrien dropped his transformation, Plagg was hovering in front of his face thoughtfully. Adrien ran a hand through his hair, as he looked at Plagg pleadingly. 

“I’d say your plan to distance yourself from the work is… Working a bit too well, kid,” said Plagg slowly. 

Adrien swallowed thickly. “Plagg, I don’t know what to do. I just want to do right by Kagami  _ and _ be the partner Ladybug needs. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive, do they?”

Plagg butted his head against Adrien’s cheek, in an attempt to comfort him but didn’t say anything. 

“Plagg? Is it bad that the only reason I regret cancelling on Kagami is because the meeting with Ladybug made me feel worse?”

Plagg settled on Adrien’s knee. “So you’re saying you’re glad you cancelled?”

Adrien chewed on his lower lip. “Maybe? I- I don’t know. I like Kagami, I do, I guess, but spending time with her… I don’t know what to say, I feel like she has certain expectations of me, so I have to be so careful about what I say and do. I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing and… Ruining everything.”

“This about what Pigtails said at lunch yesterday?” asked Plagg knowingly.

“ _ Maybe? _ ” said Adrien agitatedly. “I don’t  _ know  _ how to be around Kagami,” he said miserably. “And nowadays I don’t know how to be around Ladybug either. I just  _ know  _ there’s something going on but I… We haven’t talked in so long and I don’t even know how to bring it up and you saw what a disaster today was!”

Plagg nodded sagely. “Yeah. Made me wish I was eating cheese, honestly.”

“What?” asked Adrien in annoyance. “ _ Seriously _ ?”

Plagg shrugged as he flew off to find his cheese, leaving Adrien to stew in his thoughts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also (try to) make art! Follow me on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adrien gets a clue. or many. for one (1) of his troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update schedule? what update schedule. i'm thriving on chaos. 
> 
> anyways. hella nervous about this one. hope this chapter isn't disappointing, i am a little wary of how it ended but that said, this chapter lays the groundwork for a significant milestone and the next chapter's gonna be hella intense. i THINK?
> 
> this may seem like a filler, but its NOT.

Adrien tried not to be bothered by the way Kagami was watching him with pursed lips. They had decided to meet up for lunch that day; rather, Kagami had decided they needed to meet and the stern way she had told him so made him wary about it enough that he had reluctantly cancelled lunch plans with Marinette; he hoped she did not take it the wrong way.

Munching on some salad, he looked up to see Kagami scrutinising him, her brown eyes sharp as ever. He felt his shoulders tense as he struggled for words to say since she was clearly waiting for him to say something. He couldn’t help but feel like each date was tenser as opposed to the sense of ease he should supposedly be feeling by now; it was inevitable that his mind kept going back to what Marinette had said.

_ Just being able to be myself. No pressure, or having to second guess everything. _

“So, how have you been?” he asked, trying his best to not look like he wanted to bolt because she deserved better than that. 

“Good,” she said slowly, setting her fork down to clasp her fingers in front of her as she leaned forward; it was eerily reminiscent of his father when he was about to drop some sort of a bomb on him. As he watched, her face morphed into an unsure expression, which startled him out of his nervousness and he sat up straight to look at her questioningly. 

“Adrien,” she started quietly. “Are you sure this -  _ we  _ \- are working?” 

He couldn’t help the guilt that flooded his senses, because truthfully, he did not know the answer to that question. 

He had a lot on his mind lately. Namely, Ladybug and Marinette, both of them not quite themselves and distant than usual. Ladybug even more so, because she made no attempt at even pretending the distance didn’t exist. Their conversations were bare, and extremely on a need-to basis; his father would be proud at the professionalism, he supposed.

And Marinette was… Well,  _ Marinette.  _ Sweet, kind, bubbly, soft Marinette, walking around like she carried all the burden in the world, while she attempted to smile for him despite how he’d broken her heart. And he was trying his best to make it up to her, by trying to  _ be there  _ for her, but she wouldn’t  _ let him _ . 

So really. He felt like the worst person on the planet, because he  _ really  _ did not know how to answer Kagami’s question. 

_ Were  _ they working?

He did not know. 

Was he trying his  _ best _ ?

He didn’t think so. 

The conclusion did nothing to ease his guilt.

“I’m trying,” he said simply, after a brief pause. “I do like you.”

“I know you do,” Kagami nodded, then looked like she really didn’t want to get the words out of her mouth. “But not enough to try and-”

“You know Father keeps me busy,” Adrien muttered. 

“So you keep saying,” said Kagami sharply, her voice rising just a little bit. “You  _ made  _ Nathalie make time for you to spend with Marinette.”

“H-How do you know about that?”

“Was I not supposed to find out?” asked Kagami wryly. “Marinette and I are friends, you know.”

“I know,” said Adrien carefully. “But if you know that, then you must also know about what’d happened and why I need to be there for her.  _ Someone  _ has to. She has a lot going on.”

“Who decided it had to be  _ you _ ?” asked Kagami, her voice controlled, but icy. 

The question did take him by surprise, simply because it sounded unusually callous for Kagami. Adrien tried not to get angry, he really did. “Because she’s my  _ friend  _ who was feeling abandoned and she was at her worst, and I didn’t want her to feel that way when it’s not  _ true _ .”

“Yeah, your “ _ friend”  _ who’s in love with you,” snapped Kagami, and Adrien couldn’t quite figure out what the undertones of her almost accusatory tone were.

He blinked in shock. “You knew?”

“ _ Everyone  _ did, Adrien. You are  _ literally  _ the last person to find out.”

“Why didn’t you  _ say  _ anything!” asked Adrien, sinking into his seat. “I- I asked her help to set us up on a  _ date _ . I-”

“I was trying to get you to see  _ me _ , why would I point you in her direction?” 

Adrien withheld the words  _ Marinette did _ . That wouldn’t be fair. 

He sighed deeply and leaned forward, noting Kagami’s pleading expression. The words burned his throat, but he said them. “I did make my choice though, didn’t I?”

He hoped he didn’t sound as bitter as he felt, because well, he _did_ make a choice. Not that he knew he even had “choices” so to speak. Which brought him back, not for the first time over the last few days, to the question of what choice he would have made if he _did_ know? Marinette seemed _so sure_ that he would’ve turned her down. Would he have? 

“Yeah. Yeah, you did,” said Kagami, breaking his train of thought as she pursed her lips. “We’re here on an awkward date, that you only scheduled because  _ I  _ asked for it. On a date you’re on after you cancelled plans you  _ already  _ had with  _ Marinette _ , who we’re actually fighting about.”

“Kagami, I am doing what I can. I’m just spread really thin,” he sighed. “Marinette just needs me right now.”

“I know she does, Adrien,” said Kagami at last, sitting back in her chair. “She’s my friend too, and I can see she’s not doing okay. She looks like she’s bearing the weight of the world on her shoulders.”

“So… You understand?”

“Yes,” she said solemnly, leaving Adrien thoroughly confused as to why they’d been arguing in the first place if she did understand. Then, in a borderline challenging tone, she asked, “So you wouldn’t mind if I tagged along to your lunch dates?”

Adrien floundered. There was no other description for the way he flailed his arms, and spluttered. It was hard enough to get Marinette to open up to him, and he felt awful enough for hurting her. Adding Kagami to the mix would be like rubbing salt in her wound.

Besides, he really,  _ really  _ just liked spending time with her. Playing games, doing homework, helping her clean up after lunch.  _ All  _ of it. Yes, she was a little closed off now, but he never relaxed as well as he did when they were together. 

Her in her own little world, scribbling away her secrets in her blue notebook or fretting over physics. Or when she reluctantly showed him designs for critique. Or the amused look in her eyes she tried  _ so hard  _ not to show when he sheepishly asked for more pastries. And that  _ one  _ time she’d called his father a dick under her breath when he had joked about how his father was the blue moon of his life. 

Just him. 

And her. 

And,  _ oh.  _

_ Oh.  _

Was this what it felt like to have the world tilted on its axis? He thought so. He could feel his palms start to sweat, and the tingle of a restless itch started in his feet.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Kagami sighed, which brought him out of his short-lived stupor. 

“I-I’m sorry?” he asked, tugging at his collar a little and  _ praying  _ he hadn’t said anything stupid out loud. He was getting the sense that he knew how this afternoon would end, and at this moment, he wanted nothing more than to bolt and scream into his pillow. There was just so much static in his brain, and he needed to sort it out. 

_ God, _ there was so much to sort out.

He was also not looking forward to Plagg’s teasing. He was also  _ really  _ not looking forward to hurting Kagami. 

“You don’t want me there.”

“I-I never said that!” he retorted indignantly. “I just… Well, I was thinking I should ask Marinette first, that’s all.”

_ What the hell am I doing? _

_ I should tell her! Why am I- _

_ How the hell am I going to face Marinette tomorrow!? _

Kagami scoffed. “Of course she’d agree, she’s too  _ nice _ to say otherwise.”

Adrien nodded vehemently, but before he could say anything Kagami continued. “Not that you would need to, actually, because I would never do that to her.”

“What? What do you mean, I don’t-”

Kagami looked at him like he was the biggest idiot; he sure felt like one, so that was fair, he supposed. “Because she’s in love with you.”

_ Right.  _

Adrien felt himself deflate just a little. “Not anymore.”

“You can’t possibly believe that!” said Kagami incredulously. 

“She had no reason to lie,” he reasoned, because really, why tell him she  _ was  _ in love with him if she  _ still  _ was? It made no sense to admit to feelings  _ used  _ to have, and definitely not if her feelings were still his.

“And how do you feel about that?” Kagami asked carefully.

Adrien swallowed thickly. The aftertaste was bitter. “Happy for her. She’s my  _ friend _ and I wouldn’t ever willingly hurt her.”

Kagami’s scrutiny made his hackles rise, like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. Maybe he  _ had been  _ caught; doing something he shouldn’t be doing, that is. He should  _ tell  _ her. Maybe not in as many  _ words _ , but  _ tell  _ her before this went any further. 

“ _ Right _ . Friend... Right.”

Yeah,  _ friend.  _

The silence that followed was tense. Adrien knew  _ now  _ was the time to say something, but what was he supposed to say? That he’d suddenly come to terms with a realisation he should have had a long time ago? This certainly didn’t seem like the right time. Or place.  _ Or  _ person, if he was being very honest. Besides, he figured he’d need a whole other session to mope about how he was too late anyway.

_ Oh, he was  _ **_too late_ ** _.  _

“Adrien, I can’t do this anymore,” said Kagami at last, looking at him with tired eyes. “I’ve told you before that your indecision is hurtful, but I was okay to wait. But I really can’t watch you in complete denial of your feelings for someone else, it hurts a lot more.”

Adrien floundered for the second time that afternoon, but Kagami powered through. 

“It’s hurting Marinette too,” she said, cutting him off when he started to protest. “Even if she won’t admit it. And even if  _ you  _ don’t admit it, it’s hurting you too. All of this, for what? It doesn’t make sense for us to push this if it's  _ not working _ . And it  _ won’t  _ work if you fall in love with someone else, I’m  _ not  _ going to set myself up for heartbreak.”

Adrien stared at Kagami, not breathing for seconds, mind scrambling to think of  _ something. Anything _ . But they’d all just be excuses, because all said and done, Kagami was right. 

“Kagami, I’m sorry,” he said remorsefully. “I didn’t mean to, I- I didn’t even realize.”

She gave him a watery smile. “Better late than never, right?”

-o-

_ Better late than never.  _

The words echoed in his head as he finished patrol for that evening in a daze. 

Right. 

But it really was too late, wasn’t it. Even if Kagami didn’t seem to think so, it was. Marinette had  _ told  _ him, in no uncertain terms, that she was over him. 

She had  _ said  _ so. 

As he waited for Ladybug on the buttress of the Notre-Dame, he could not help but wallow in self-pity. His eyes flickered over in the direction of the Dupain-Cheng bakery, and he heaved a sigh just as he heard Ladybug land behind him. 

“All clear,” she said, as she joined him to gaze over the half-asleep city.

Her voice sounded rough and tired, and Chat was instantly on alert. He tilted his head just so, so he could see her. Despite the city lights casting a glow over her, she looked pale and her eyes were sunken in, as if she hadn’t been sleeping very well. Her gaze was far away, her fingers tapping an anxious rhythm against her thigh. They hadn’t really spoken since the last time they’d met, when she’d left after saying that she’d see him around, in the saddest tone he’d ever heard her use.

He shifted restlessly on his feet, wondering if he should say something, or ask her something. But the last time, he’d put his foot in his mouth; he couldn’t get the image of the way her face had crumpled out of his head. So he wanted to proceed with caution, he really did, but he found himself struggling for words. 

_ Are you okay?  _

That should be  _ so easy  _ to say. He was  _ Chat Noir  _ and she was  _ Ladybug.  _ Things shouldn’t be this tense between them, and he found himself fretting over this all over again. He was terrified of the idea that this was a bridge that had burned away completely, and he did not know how to save it. 

As he struggled to string together a sentence, he heard her sigh. “Well, guess that is all then.”

She gripped her yoyo, ready to string away, missing the startled look on his face. He’d been expecting her to bring up whatever it was that he had ended up interrupting the last time, but she did not breathe a word of it again. 

“Good night, Chat Noir.”

And she was gone, leaving him staring after her. 

Today was just turning out worse and worse; he’d hurt Kagami without meaning to, he was in love with Marinette just as she’d fallen out of love with him, and Ladybug hated him, which was probably his own doing. 

Groaning in exasperation, he headed home, determined to set things right. 

But as luck would have it, things decided to take matters into their own hands the next week. It would start with Adrien startling at the eerily familiar tune Marinette was humming through her sleepless haze, and end, if only somewhat, with Ladybug crying her eyes out in his arms in a dark alleyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, thoughts?
> 
> if you wanna chew my head out or just check out my art, follow me on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/)

**Author's Note:**

> I also (try to) make art! Follow me on [Tumblr](https://theanxiouscupcake.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/anxiouscupcake_) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/theanxiouscupcake_/)


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